I felt so drained, mentally and physically. i almost fell asleep on the couch three times. ponyboy said i could use his room to sleep in for a bit, so i took that offer up. i changed into more comfortable pants and laid down. i fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
i was dreaming of when the family was normal, my old man wasn't drinking and my ma still made dinner and didn't neglect johnny and i. the house was warm from the fire dad had built and the room smelled of floral cigars. it was good, then the walls started decaying and the room started to smell of whiskey and dinner was no longer set on the table. the room had trash on the ground and my mother was as skinny as a toothpick. My dad started beating on her so i went to stop him and he hit me too.
i sat up breathing fast and got changed and walked back out. that's why i hated sleeping, the memories, and then now. i want things to go back to normal so bad, i would do anything. i sat back down on the couch and watched mickey mouse with two-bit and soda. darry was starting dinner and dally, johnny, and pony were in a corner, messing around. i was silent on the couch, looking around skeptically every once in awhile.
Darry set out dinner and i was the first to get up, i was starving. i grabbed a plate and set the pasta and salad on it and sat down. darry was so generous with his food, even though he could barely afford it. i finished the plate and set it in the sink and sat next to dally on the couch.
"we're goin' to the drive in later, you comin' with?" he asked me.
"uh sure," i said, sitting back.
The boys finished dinner and dally, johnny, pony and i left the house for the drive in. we sat in the second row of seats. eventually two girls showed up, dally of course started to hit on them.
The red haired chick snapped back at him, which he didn't take as a hint she wants him to stop.
"dally leave 'em alone man," johnny said.
"what'd you say you little shit?" Dally shot back.
"j-just leave 'em alone man," johnny said quieter.
Dally left, johnny was shaking so i put my hand on his arm. he jumped at the gesture but calmed down knowing it was me.
Dally came back with an arm full of half filled coca colas and handed them out to everyone. he sat down next to the red head one, who's name was cherry. Cherry tossed the drink on him and dally stormed off.
"you gonna hit on us too?" cherry shouted, pointing at pony and johnny.
"no ma'am," pony said politely.
that's what i liked about pony, he was always so polite. he kept it formal too, he asked a girl out to dinner at a really fancy and expensive restaurant, he was saving up for it for about 3 months, then got turned down. so the gang took him out to an even fancier restaurant.
the boys moved up with the girls and i stayed behind and watched the movie. when the movie was over the boys and i walked with the girls until those stupid boy socs picked them up. i hadn't talked once to the girls. pony, johnny and i walked to the lot and sat down on the couch.
"i dunno how much longer i can take of this beating," i cried, johnny putting his arm around me.
"it's like everyday i get a new scar or black eye," i let out.
"i'm starting to not even feel the pain anymore, it feels numb," i sobbed.
"i know B," Johnny rubbed my back.
i stopped my crying and sat back on the couch and stared at the stars. we all talked for a bit longer and my eyes started to feel drowsy.
"johnny! beatrice!" pony was yelling and shaking us both.
"what ponyboy?" i asked irritated.
"we slept in! god what time is it!" he shouted.
i fell back asleep on johnnys shoulder.
i woke up again to pony jumping on the couch crying.
"wake up! darry hit me we're
running away," he cried. what a baby, the first time my parents hit me i didn't run away.
"okay," johnny said, getting up.
"cmon," pony got back up.
we started running, pony was still crying and i was still half asleep. where were we even going?
"pony where are we going?" i asked.
"let's just go to the park, i might cool down by then," he whined.
We got to the park and went on the play structure, i sat at the top of the monkey bars and johnny and pony hung below me. they were talking when we saw car lights flash across from us. a mustang drove up to us, drunk socs fell out of the car and stumbled over to us. they argued for a bit when the socs started to get really mad.
"you know what greasers are?" bob asked us.
"what," pony asked, not wanting to know the answer.
"white trash with greased hair," he laughed.
"you know what socs are?" pony laughed.
"huh?" bob said.
"white trash with mustangs and madras," he spat at them.
The socs started after us and we jumped off the structure and started running. they eventually caught up to us and grabbed me and knocked me out.
i woke up to find pony passed out on the ground, soaking wet, and johnny sitting against the fountain shaking next to him. i walk over and find bob and a puddle of blood, i sit down next to him.
"y-you killed him didn't you," my voice cracked.
"yeah," he sobbed out.
pony woke up and looked at us and then at the body of bob.
"i-i killed him ponyboy," johnny cried.
"i think i'm going to be sick," pony said, looking faint and queasy.
"go ahead," johnny couldn't look at him.
pony walked away and hurled. how are we going to get out of this one? we killed a soc, johnnys going to get jail time for this. unless we ran away? but where would we go.
"dally," johnny and i said in unison.
"we need to go talk to him," johnny said.
pony and i nodded and got up and started walking to bucks. it wasn't that far away but it definitely wasn't close. how was he going to protect us? how long were we going to stay in hiding? my life was over and so were the boys.
