Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 4: Flying

The palm trees danced freely in the wind, with not a care in the world. Waves crashed against the sun-stricken sand furiously, disrupting any of the delicate noises created by the breeze. It was silent; there was not a voice to be heard or a life to be seen. It was the perfect time to think. The perfect place to think. Some may have said it was a luxury. To be their with your family, enjoying the precious surroundings and using the golden opportunity for relaxing. The beach reminds me of my father. He was a handsome man, always doing anything for his family. My mum looked up to him, my sister looked up to him. And so did I. What could've been the problem? Workaholic. As we got older, he spent more and more time away from us. We never saw him anymore as he was so involved by his work. Rumours started going around that he wasn't faithful. That he had a 'split life' and would run away to his secret family, without us knowing. However, I doubt that truly happened. He was a good man... right? Right. Until, one day when he went off to work. He never returned.

At the time I was still only quite little. I'd remember around 12 years old. I knew exactly what was going on although and was well aware that he had left on purpose. And it hurt. It hurt a lot, knowing my father didn't care for us anymore.  Father of the year award. I guess he once was. My sister grew up without a father. So Caspian's dad became ours. Just for the time being, while we grew up. Then we entered the real word. One step at a time. I was strong. We spread our wings, and flew.

"What's up?" I ask Amira, as she looks at me nervously. She plays with her fingers, dragging her nails carelessly across her palm. She's procrastinating telling me something, and determination leads me to figure out what it is. "I was just, well, wondering why you went back for the photo album. She says, battling the urge to tell me what she already knows. "I mean you don't have to, I just thought that-" "It's fine." I'm sick of telling people about my past, about everything that happened. It leads me to becoming unbearable. Mum says I end up falling down my hole and back to my pit of despair, waiting to be dragged out. This reminds me of last time. Messy.

"That album holds everything. Pictures from when I was 4 up until when I was 15. Then I went off to join the army with my best friends and I never put anything else in it." I tell her, I wouldn't crack. I wouldn't fall. Not this time. I was going to talk about what happened. I'd fly. "Most of the pictures in there are of me and Cas. There's some of Nadya and my mum. And a few of my dad too." A puzzled look grew on her face. "Who's Cas?" she asks. Dear God... "Cas was my- is my best friend. We did everything together. We were in all of the same classes together throughout school, we broke our arms together, we went on day outs together, we third-wheeled each other's dates. We even joined the army together. We were almost joined at the hip we were so close." I sigh. "And then it got to his birthday, we were ready to start another day as soldiers. He was meant to be a soldier, he was perfect for it. Me on the other hand, well I was mostly distracted. I wasn't the best out there I have to admit. But I admired Caspian. He knew exactly what he was doing and no matter how much he hated what he had to do, he did it." Amira looked at me, intrigued, silently begging for me to go on. "And on that day, I was shot. In the leg. I suppose it was only a minor injury, but if he hadn't come to help me. I would've bled out. For sure. And straight away, when he bent down to assess the situation. Bang." I stopped and swallowed the unintended held breath. "They shot him down" I say shuffling uncomfortably. Why did I tell her all this, in such great detail. I guess I really do trust her.

"Oh my..." she says, slightly unsure on how to respond. I appreciate her effort though. "I'm really sorry Jack." she reassures, putting her hand on my shoulder. This makes me go a deep pink. "Are you blushing?" she giggles looking at me and smirking. Evil spawn. I shake my head. "No, of course not." I shake my head violently, trying to rid myself of the unnatural colour. "Oh you are!" I glare at her after makes this silly remark, trying to make her lay off a bit. But she doesn't. "Come on! It's cute, don't be embarrassed!" She laughs, messing with me. Definitely evil spawn. "Come on, I'm not blushing." I mutter. "Whatever" she giggles, she's so sweet I swear...

"My parents kicked me out." Amira says bluntly. What do you say to someone who randomly comes out and tells you why she was open for saving? You ask why. "Why?" I ask. She looks down, then back up at me, ready to answer. "I wasn't good enough for them..." she says, her voice shaking and sounds as though it would crack. I feel terrible for her. But in a way, I understand how she feels. I felt the same way when my father walked out on us. Heartbroken. But I got over him and although sometimes it upsets Nadya (rarely), she has too. He wasn't worth our love. And I've accepted that. If needs be, then I'll help Amira too. She deserves to be treated with love and respect. I'll never quite understand how someone could be so cruel to someone so innocent. "You can stay here as long as you need." I tell her. "You see, I understand how you feel a little. My father walked out on us when I was 12. It hurt, but if it had never happened, I wouldn't be who I am today. I would be a different person completely. And maybe that's better?" Amira nods quietly. I just wanted to embrace her, tell her it would be okay. So I did. I hugged her, because despite the times when things seem like they won't be, you can live with it. You can rise above it. And fly.