All's Fair in Hate and War. (A Marianas Trench Tale)

I smiled happily, as I watched him angrily stomp out of the house. When he was completely gone I decided to try to deal with my other problem. 

I fought, and tugged to get off, but it didn't work. I had to use every bit of my energy, but it still didn't work. I then remembered a pocket knife I always kept in my pocket. 

I struggled to get it out of my front pocket, and finally got it out. I used the knife to cut the surounding fabric, and it worked. I got up, and looked at my butt. It had fabric on it. I was glad that I at least was freed.

I had a whole bunch of glue on my lower back and I thought a nice warm bath would help.

I went upstairs, and stripped down, and put on a robe. I walked over to my bath, and filled it up with nice warm water, and a lot of bubbles. I was so comfortable, and warm that I guess I fell asleep.  

I woke up, to the weird movement of the water. I opened my eyes, and big, slimy, yellow snake crawling up the length of my body, and staring me right in the eye. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but when I felt it squirm, I knew I wasn't. I screamed, and jumped out of the tub. I have no idea how he knew I was completely terrified of snakes.

 I put on my robe, and rushed downstairs. Josh was sitting happily on the couch.

"You!"

"Me who? What did that 'you' guy did now?"

"You know what you did. You think putting a snake in my bath was funny? I almost died!"

"It's not poisonous."

"Whoa. I just relized something. You saw me in the bath!?" He laughed.

"No. You had a freakload of bubbles."

"I like my baths bubbly," I said defensively.

"Well, that snake's yours now." He went back to watching tv, and ignored me. I got frustrated, and went to think up a new plan. I got Matt to get the snake out of the bath for me and return it back to the owner. After that, I cleaned out the tub, and made sure there were no snake nasties in there.

That night, I had a lot of work to do before Josh came to bed. I went to the store, and bought many, many jars of mayonaise, and snuck up to his room.

I pulled back the covers, and dumped all the contents from every can on his bed. I spread it out all around, and made sure it looked normal. I laughed as I did this, and was having so much fun. As I was putting the covers back, I heard the door knob start to twist. With my cat like reflexes, I got down, and rolled under the bed.

Of course, I didn't finish quick enough, and Josh came in. My hands were covered in mayo, and I was under a bed. This isn't exactly how I imagined my night going, but he started it. He walked around for a few minutes, then he dropped something by the bed, and it rolled under.

"Aw crap." I saw him about to bend down, so I quickly rolled out from under, and stood on a chair so he wouldn't see my legs. When he was fully under, I ran out quietly, and quickly. He didn't notice. I washed my hands, and layed in my bed, reading my magazine waiting for things to happen.

About ten minutes later, I heard a

"What the hell? Brooke!" I laughed to myself, and kept reading my magazine. He came in the door covered in mayonaise, and had an angry face, yet again.

"What's up Josh? Fall into a giant sandwich?"

"Don't be a smartass."

"Too late to stop me now," I said while flipping a page of my magazine.

"Where am I gonna sleep? You ruined my bed quite a few times."

"Hmm. The paint covered couch is pretty comfortable. That can be your bed for the next few weeks." He glared at me.

"Fine. Give me one of your blankets." I looked at him, like he was kidding.

"You wish."

"Well I can't use mine, because they're covered in MAYONNAISE!" He yelled. Yeah, he was pissed.

"Okay mister grumpy. There's some in the closet." He walked over, and grabbed a few. He was about to leave when I stopped him.

"Oh, and a tip," I started. "Don't frown, you'll get those nasty lines and nobody wants that now do we?" I said with a triumphant smile.

He then walked out, and soon I would be ready for phase three. Two hours later, I snuck downstairs, and made sure he was sleeping. I set up my next prank, ran back upstairs,  grabbed my phone, and dialed his number.

"Hello?" He sounded disoriented, and sleepy.

"Hey, Josh. It's me Brooke."

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say we should stop this. It's gone on for a while."

"Brooke, what's your angle on this?"

"Hmm, I don't know." I was quiet for a while. "Just waiting for the glue to dry."

"What?" I started laughing. I quickly ran back downstairs, and watched him trying to pull the phone off the side of his head.

"That's what you get for leaving the superglue out!"

"Damn it Brooke! This is gonna be hard to get off!"

"Well, I did have the solvant somewhere....I just can't remember where. What a bummer." He glared at me.

"Okay. Fine, do this to me. But, don't be surprised if you get stuck in bitter sweetness tomorrow!"

"What does that even mean?"

"You'll see." I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Whatever." I flipped my hair, and went back upstairs. I knew I could sleep knowing I got him back.