Fault in my Stars

19

"I love you Barry. Why this is happening between us." I asked pulling away from hug.

"I... maybe... I... I can't explain you this but you have to believe me ..... I am doing it for the best." He paused and sighed pinching his forehead. Tension was rising with passing second. I was becoming nervous would be understatement.

"I am going back to Germany... forever..." He whispered not meeting my eyes. Someone choked my lungs, that's what I felt.

"What?...... You....why?" I stuttered with tears spilling from my eyes. I heard what he said, I understood what he meant, but my heart is failing to take it. No way he's going to leave me. I won't let him do that.

"It was a joke, isn't it? After we played in drama, you think it's funny to pull this stupid act but trust me I'm impressed with your acting.... you should get Oscar award, really..." I went on blabbering until he came and shook my shoulders.

"Jessi, Jessi listen" He shouted to mute my words, I stared him with numb expression.
".... I know it's hard to believe but you have to remain strong. This is not the end of the world...."

"You are my world damn it! How can you say such thing to me." I hissed angrily.

"I am sorry Jessi. I don't want to justify anything. Forget about our relationship, forget about me. That is better for you." He said those heart piercing words, I broke down into tears. This time he didn't come to hug me neither he tried to soothe me with his words. He just turned his back to me and stood silently.

After crying all my heart out when I walked near him. I saw him crying silently but he stopped immediately as he sensed me standing beside him.

"Barry" I whispered, he looked up at my swollen red eyes. He crossed his arms as in hiding the guilt.

"Can I ask you for something.... for the last time?" I asked him with pleading eyes.

"Hm...tell me." He said softly.

"I want to sleep with you for the last time." I managed to put my wish.

"You mean...sex?" He stuttered wide eyed.

"NO... we aren't that lucky." I smiled weakly.
"Oh! Okay" he replied with slight nod.
We headed towards his bedroom. I slept on one side of the bed. He slept on other side. I felt like crying again but I refrained myself biting my lip hard. His eyes were staring at the ceiling. I took his arm and draped around my stomach.

"Thank you for understanding." He whispered kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes not wanting to cry and disturb this sweet moment in his arms... because soon it's going to end, no matter what I do.

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