Severed Heaven (Niklaus and Elijah Mikaelson)

Chapter Nineteen: An Affair With Uninvited Feelings

     There was nothing I loved more in life than to come home in the middle of the night to find such quietness. How I loved locking my apartment door and leaving everything else out in the midnight air. It made me think of the softest caress, or of a gesture, which always happened to be totally accidental the first time, but becomes more than intentional the second time and more so yet the third. It reminded me of my childhood home in France. Perfect quietness, with the gentlest hint of chaos. The silence in this apartment was always light and airy, just how I enjoyed it.

Despite that, I wanted to scold myself for overthinking. I wanted to nothing more than to sleep, but knew I wouldn't be able to; not with both the Original brothers on my mind, not with my own duties to my coven on my mind. It wasn't even clear enough to realise that the dimmed lights were on. I was too caught up in the chaos of my own thoughts that I didn't see him standing there at first glance, but then I did.

I didn't know what fear had to do with it until it really got through to me. The truth was that I couldn't deal with this right now. I couldn't deal with him. I found utter and complete terror deep in my gut. I was afraid of hurting again.

With my coat still on, my bag still over my shoulder, I attempted to say his name. I couldn't get it over my lips, and I knew why— because I thought he'd be with the blonde bartender, because I thought he'd never show up here, because I expected nothing but never-ending questions from him, and favours, depts, and everything else. He couldn't possibly be here to check up on me, and I had to convince myself that he wasn't. Neither of us said a word, and for a moment all we managed to do was stare at one another, but I could no longer bear the silence, despite having wanted it the entire night. "Niklaus." I said, and saying his name worked as an alarm, finally waking up my mind.

It looked like he'd initially planned on walking over to me, but in the end decided not to, because his body moved, and then didn't. "Elizabeth." He said my name with relief and exemption.

He began by clearing his throat, but I urged myself to be the first to speak. Not just because I wanted to have the upper hand in this conversation that may or may not change into something unwelcoming, but I wanted to show him I wasn't as insecure as I was around him. "What are you doing here?" I then asked before he could say anything at all. I seldom stayed in a bubble of such serenity and peace, especially with everything that went down during the day. I decided to suppress my vexation towards him.

He did take a step forward this time, and it frightened my heart that was already aching. "I'm aware of how I messed up."

That set the tone for me. I ran my thumb over the rough edges of my keys, but instantly stopped my bad habits when my heart spurred drops of hurt and regret into my blood. "If you're going to tell me things I already know, please, leave."

I threw my bag down on the sofa, and my keychains followed. I should have learned to avoid him, I thought, to send him away, and don't look back about it, yet all I wanted was for him to stay, and to apologise and look into my eyes, and convince me that this was real and right. I wanted to hear his window break, and I wanted to step through it, find all of the missing pieces. In his mind, I'd replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where we went wrong. When would he let me in? When would he finally let me see the truth? Or had all this pain been for nothing, and would it be forever? I couldn't let it last forever, right?

I could see that he was unsure on how to approach me. It was something that his brother never lacked, and I liked it,  but it never thrilled me. There weren't any lines that he could possibly cross with me. It was precisely why I loved Niklaus, and not Elijah. "You should know that if I hurt you—"

"If you hurt me?" I cut him off gruesomely.

Somehow, when he looked at me this way, gently, softly, and with guilt, I found myself ready to forgive him for everything.