The Evanescent Fairy Tale of Sherlock and John {discontinued}

Chapter Nine

+Is there enough in me for you? Can I fill what you long ago swore would forever remain empty? -Tyler Knott Gregson+

         I wait. I count. John returns to the dormitory at exactly 12:03 A.M. He passes through the door as a dark shadow and flips the lights on. 

        "What are you still doing up?" His eyes meet mine. 

        "I need to talk to you." 

        "No," John grunts, playing with the hem of his uniform. 

        "Your poetry is beautiful." Just like you.

        No. Stop it, Sherlock, stop it, I think to myself...

        ...and then I remembered.

        *****

        "Sherlock!" Small, familiar arms wrapped around my waist. I felt a smile spread across my lips that he had kissed so many times.  

        "I've missed you," I whispered into the brunette head of my love. 

        "I know, I know." He tilted his head up, and the kisses I've longed for began. Steady, slow, silent. Like him. Like my Victor. 

        "Oh, Sheryl," he murmured in that thick Irish accent I adored. 

        That thick Irish accent I would miss.

        *****

        "Caring is a disadvantage, brother mine." Mycroft would say every night that I would return home from a night out with Victor. I brushed past him, up the stairs, and hid in my room until I had to come out. 

        But that night I had to come out early. 

        A fist pounded on my door, and I rolled over. My clock blinked with bright red numbers of 12:03 A.M. What the hell? 

        "Sherlock!" It was Mycroft. My bedroom door opened with a creak, and he stuck his pudgy face in, eyebrows furrowed in...worry? "Sherlock. Something's happened." 

        *****

        I never got to say good-bye. 

        I deleted all feelings I had felt with Victor from my memory. 

        I deleted everything except the concept of him. 

        I couldn't live if I didn't do that. 

        Victor would say I was naive and silly, but I cared for him, if that was a word I knew anymore. 

        ***

        Caring is a disadvantage. 

        "John, I..." My voice breaks suddenly, just like me. That face he is giving me tears my insides apart, and I want to grab him, and...

        "You ignite my soul into sparks I cannot extinguish," I recite from John's notebook. His pupils soften. 

        "You know." 

        "Of course I do." 

        John rolls his eyes. "You're a prat." 

        "I know that, too." 

        "Did you deduce it?" 

        "Yes."

        He smiles, "An intelligent prat." 

        "That you...care for." It was the only word I knew to describe our feelings.

        "Yes." 

        i waited and i waited and i waited; it felt like i waited for an eternity, but the reward was oh-so-sweet. you stepped through the threshold of my life with a fine flourish of your coat, with those locks carved from obsidian itself, with a name like pure poetry. the reward was oh-so-sweet.

~~jesus christ. idk how much you know about how fracking sorry i am. it's been almost a month since i've updated, and i feel horrendously awful. school & show choir & musical practice has gotten the better of me, and i'm genuinely sorry, my lovely wildcats. buuuttt be on the lookout for two new sherlock fics i'm currently in the process of writing *wiggles excitedly*

anyways, vote, comment, fangirl: the routine. i've decided to put a piece of poetry by an actual poet at the beginning of each chapter, and then a piece of poetry by me (John) at the end. 

AND i was looking at my profile the other day, and this already has over 1K reads. god, you guys are amazing. this is dedicated to Karissa221B bc she's one of the most loveliest people i know on watty. go follow her and read her stories. especially her johnlock one AND THE SPIRK ONE. oh don't even get me started on the spirk one. if you're into star trek, that's the place for you to be. 

i know the school year has started (or is starting soon) so i wish you the best of luck in your studies! <333 until the next update, my loves.~~