Circles | ✔️

Forty five *

Flashback
- 6 years ago-

New York City

Isobel P.O.V.

Immediately landing, I checked my phone once more, unfortunately to see no messages or calls had come through from him. Sighing, I collected my things before hailing a cab to get to my new home.

I poked my head out of the window, watching as a million gigantic, towering buildings raced by. There were huge skyscrapers pointing upwards into the heavens at every single corner. On the streets, a ton of well-dressed people strolled past busily, seemingly on a mission to conquer the world. I tried to fight through my sadness, to smile and take in this new world all around me. It was not without great efforts.

Arriving at NYU, I registered for my dorm room and got settled in straight away, arranging my things on my side of the small room neatly. I looked over to the empty bed near mine- I can't wait to see who my roommate is, I hope we become friends and we get along well.

I plopped myself on the single bed tiredly, not being able to help the feelings of something resembling heartbreak wallow inside me. I can't believe he didn't come when he said he would? Did we not mean anything to him? Did I not? Was I just some fucking toy he wanted to play with cause he was bored? Is this his way of ending everything between us? But he said we would still talk- could we not be friends still?

Frustrated and upset, I made sure my phone was fully charged before picking up my sidebag, slinging it over my body before heading out of the dorm to take a walk around the area. Hopefully I'll find some nice pizza place along the way. I'm starving.

There was a stark contrast between Newport and New York as I strolled down the busy streets. The term "concrete jungle" was in essence true, with greys, and shades of the same neutral colours stretching on for miles all around me. No blue ocean, no white sails, no green trees. I am definitely in a completely different place.

As the shadows cast by the tall buildings began waning away due to the disappearing sun, I returned back to my dorm. Another pang of disappointment struck me from seeing the absence of his name on my lit up cell screen.

Tucking myself in bed at the end of the night, the feelings I was fighting against from today won. Overwhelmed, I couldn't help but cry a little bit. I was so far from everyone- especially Kade. I can't believe he just left me. That hurt the most. He just disappeared as if I had never existed to him, that we hadn't just spent the last six months with each other. We hadn't even ever had a real fight. Sure, we argued about random things, but they were only ever surface-deep. It was part of our charm.

The tears welled up in my eyes, whilst I clutched the sheets tighter to myself. As if my mind wanted to torment me even further, every single moment I had with Kade replayed to me back on a loop. The first time we kissed, the first time he deflowered me and opened me up to this new world, giving me all my first experiences. I felt immense pleasure, I felt intimacy and passion and fire and the comfort and safety of being in someone's arms for perhaps one of the first times in my life. I felt like we got each other in the weirdest of ways, but we did. And he just threw it all away, wordlessly.

And I know this sort of relationship had to come to a close because we had separate lives, but that didn't mean we had to cut off all contact all together. I thought that was a mutual understanding.

If that's not the biggest lesson I've learnt thus far.

Don't trust a player, don't trust the mischievous, flirty bad boy. Just don't.

Why?

Because he will show you the world in a kaleidoscope of colors you never thought existed. He will make you feel things that you thought you weren't capable of feeling. You will soar higher with him then you've ever before.