Moving on to day five wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.
She thought telling someone how she really felt will make her feel better.
But it all made her miss him more.
Now that she can't tell him about her day.
She writes down, as though he can see it and reply.
But nope, that's not gonna happen.
How are you these days?
Are you eating well?
(I'm not.)
Are you happy?
(I'm not.)
If he were to ask her how her day went (not gonna happen but well)
She's gonna say "Yeah, great." .
"Work was okay."
"The whole of today was good."
But he'll never know the truth.
The truth that she wasn't doing well.
The truth that she still can't forget him.
The truth that she was still hurting.
The truth that she still have feelings for him when he clearly rejected her.
The truth that she wasn't eating well.
The truth that she still can't move on.
The truth that she's still waiting for him to text her one day, saying that he actually likes her too.
Though she herself knows fucking well that all these will never happen.
Because he doesn't even care if she's alive or dead.
"If you were to cry, call me." He said.
But she's crying now.
And she can't even call him.
She isn't in the right position to call him, now that all these shits happened.
And because he was the reason why she's crying now.
She was kind of glad that he didn't accept her feelings.
Because if they really got together that day,
He has to handle her stupid thoughts, her flaws, and her stupid tears.
He might even need to travel all the way to her neighborhood just to comfort her or to lend her his shoulder to cry on.
And that's the last thing she wants.
Wouldn't want to trouble him.
The next reason why she was glad that he didn't accept her was,
She's as clingy as a chewed chewing gum.
She told him before.
But it's just a casual remark.
No one would remember.
And yes, she indeed is very clingy.
Her 'ex' broke up with her because she called him a lot of times when that 'ex' of hers only called once but she missed the call.
She knows that he isn't ready for any relationship right now.
And she was stupid enough to forget and stupidly confessed.
Well done, girl -_-
But she wanted to give it a try.
Although she wasn't even ready to confess.
People always tell her to wait patiently for the right one to show up.
But those who said that, are those who is or had been in a relationship before.
And yes, she meant him.
He had been in a relationship before.
But she don't.
She don't know how it feels like to date someone who you really like/love a lot.
She don't know how it feels like to be protected by that person.
She don't know how it feels like to be appreciated by that person.
She don't know how it feels like to be cared by that person when she were to fall sick.
She don't know how it feels like to hold that person's hand.
She don't know how it feels like to buy a gift for that person on special days.
She don't know how it feels like to prepare a surprise for that person.
Though she wrote a lot of stories about characters dating whoever they love.
Now her heart has completely died.
The thought of finding another put her off.
