When You Were Never Mine: Part 2

Caged

It had now been three months since you left Tony.

It wasn't easy by any means, and the fights were epically loud and exquisitely cruel. He tried so hard to legitimize his actions in blocking Bucky from your mind, pleading with you that all he was doing was trying to protect you, and not understanding how you didn't get it. He couldn't see the break in trust and the insane plan he had dragged both Stephen and Wanda into; you didn't blame them as severely, but your friendship was beyond strained now. They had all betrayed you, and you couldn't live in that building for one more minute once you had realized just how far they had taken it.

In the beginning, his calls came in every day, and you left them unanswered. As the weeks passed by, they became less frequent, until you were now getting a call here and there if at all. You weren't sure if his plan was to get your curiosity piqued so that you would seek him out for resolution, or if he was really giving up. Tony wasn't one to give up, though, and you wouldn't believe that of him even after you asked him to stop.

You still loved the man, too much and too easily, despite it all. Yes, you understood what he was doing, but it didn't allow him absolution from his choice in method. Bucky had all but killed you that night when you had gone out to find him, and you had forgiven him, so why couldn't you do the same for your own husband? Why were you sitting here now, in your gear and in the dark, searching for a man who may try to kill you again when you wouldn't so much as accept an apology from the man you had promised your life to?

"Hey, you okay?"

"Hmm?" you startled, jolting back to attention from the thoughts that tried to keep on. "Uh...yeah, I'm good. Why?"

"Because you've been staring at your feet for the last five minutes," Nat sighed cautiously. She had been at your side in the search for the last two weeks, refusing to go back home when you had all but begged her to. You could only imagine the betrayal that Tony was feeling to have both his estranged wife and his soulmate looking for the one man on the planet that he wanted them both kept the farthest from. "(Y/N), you can call him. All he wants to hear is your voice."

"Then why did he stop trying to call me?"

"Because you've made it pretty clear that you're not gonna answer, genius."

"I have no idea what to say that I haven't already said, Nat. I'm still mad...for the most part," you hesitated. "He took it too far."

"Yeah, because that's what he does. You knew that going in."

"Really," you huffed loudly, slapping your hand over your mouth at the sound that echoed around you. Taking a deep breath, you lowered your voice and tried again, "really? I knew that he would try to wipe out my brain because he didn't trust me to take care of myself?"

"He doesn't trust Bucky, (Y/N). He trusts you more than anyone else in his life. Ever. With Bucky out here and back in Hydra's grip, he's terrified that history is about to replay itself. He has no idea that you're out here right now, and if he did, he'd still tear the world apart to find you and keep you safe, even after everything that's been said. He's always going to love you."

All you could do was turn away; it was unthinkable to cry at a time like this, in the middle of a stealth op with the calmest teammate you've ever worked with. Maybe she was right, and that it was time to reconsider it all, and try to talk to him again. You missed him. You missed his stupid humor, his perfect face and his hugs that could make even the worst problem better. You missed how he held you as he slept to keep the nightmares away, and how his t-shirt fit you in the middle of the night when he snuck away to the lab and left you in bed alone. You missed how he could always know how to make you smile on even the worst days, and yes, how he protected you when the world got just a little too...heavy.