When You Were Never Mine: Part 2

Promises, promises

Your body had never felt such exhaustion as it was now, the ache of your muscles taking a backseat to the hazy lethargy that your mind was suffering. You had been connected with Bucky for too long, you understood that now, but at the time it was the right thing to do, and the only way that you knew of that would keep his mind present. You hadn't thought much about your own safety, and you hadn't thought about what you would leave behind if something had gone wrong. You paid no mind to who you could hurt, and that wasn't like you. Ever since the first time that you had connected with Bucky on that day with Tony, several years ago now, your attentions were divided between the two men, and the fallout from it had left ripples and waves of destruction in its path that frequently crested on the precipice of the typhoon that would drown it all away once and for all.

You slept for fourteen hours after Tony had carried you to your room and away from Barnes. He stayed at your side for every one of them until your eyes opened; he wanted to be the first person you saw so that you would understand that he was still committed to you. He could only hope that you would see it when he looked back; yes, it wasn't his proudest moment when he had tried to keep you apart from your soulmate, but he was acting out of fear and his fierce protectiveness of you. It always got the best of him, his emotions, and you had known that all along. He had also known all along that each day that you gave him was a gift that he had taken for granted for far too long.

"Hey," he whispered gently, "you can sleep more if you need to. I'll be here as long as you want me to be."

"What time is it?" you answered in a dry voice, your eyes fighting every second of being open. "How long have I been out?"

"Going on fourteen hours. But it's okay, you've been to hell and back, you deserve the rest. I can go if you want-" he stopped, feeling your hand on his arm to hold him back. The deliberate contact was too much for his fragile mind; it was too much to finally feel like you wanted him there again, and to dare to believe that this might just be okay after everything that he had done. He had to hold back the swell of emotion in his throat just to utter a few words and make them sound like he wasn't on the verge of breaking. "What? What is it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good...but what happened? Is Buck okay?" The darkness of evening that filled the room was keeping Tony in the safety of shadow, but it was making it too difficult to talk to him; if you were going to have this conversation, then it was vital that you could see each other so that there was no confusion. "FRIDAY, could you turn on low lights please?"

The room slowly began to come into view, as did your husband. He shied away at first, turning his head so that you wouldn't look at him. He didn't want you to see the damage that had been done when he fought the Soldier with Steve to bring him in. He didn't want your pity, and he didn't deserve your forgiveness in his choices.

"Oh, honey, let me see," you urged, but he wouldn't turn. "Tony, look at me."

"It's not a great sight."

"It's you. How could it not be?"

"I can think of plenty of ways, (Y/N)," he said, "I haven't exactly lived up to the husband that you signed on for."

"Of course you did," you smiled, "I got exactly what I signed on for. You've been a pain in my ass since day one. But...you've also been my best friend and you've done nothing but what you thought was right to keep me safe. True, your methods sucked, but the intent was there."

"You're more than capable of keeping yourself safe, sweetheart. I just forgot that somewhere along the line."

"So...can you look at me now that we've reached at least one agreement?"