Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Chapter one.
"Hello, this is the suicide helpline, I'm ___, crisis coordinator, how may I help you?"
Those words were the kind Yoo Kihyun expected to hear through his cracked screen phone.
But no.
A strange voice came upon, a voice that was rather warm and soft, a voice that had got nothing to do with the suicide lifeline.
"Hello, who is this?"
Kihyun knew he had dialed the wrong number. He knew he should apologize and stopped the call. But he didn't.
He couldn't.
It was as if he wasn't himself. The inability to control his body, his mind, his words rushed over him like a tsunami. And all he did to save himself, was saying:
"I don't want to live anymore."
Kihyun had been through a lot, since a while back, bearing through agonizing struggles with solitude. Sometimes he wanted to scream out that he needed help, that somebody please be there with him, for him. Then he remembered, he was alone in this world. So here he was, drowning in painful depression, letting the demons take over him, however they wanted.
"Do you want to tell me what went wrong?" replied the stranger.
It was at that moment, that Kihyun realized how badly had he been craving for someone to realize he existed, craving to be heard, to be understood. Nobody ever wanted to converse with him. Nobody ever wanted to involve him in any of their plans.
It had been a long while, since the last time someone picked up his phone call.
"Will you listen to me?" asked Kihyun, as he felt hot tears slowly streamed down his face.
The stranger's voice sounded nothing but calmness, like he wasn't taken aback at all. Meanwhile, Kihyun was the one who was fazed. And Kihyun could feel, inside him, a voice of a broken soul, muttering Finally, someone who actually cared.
"As long as you want me to."
Then came a long pause in their conversation, as if Kihyun was no longer engaged in the call. But the stranger kept silent, patiently waiting for him to open up about his stories.
"It hurts."
Eventually, Kihyun shakily croaked.
"What hurts?"
"Life. Everything about it is hurtful. Can't eat... Can't sleep... No friends, no family, no job." stammered Kihyun.
Kihyun's silent cry gradually became louder and louder, till it could be heard on the other side of the line.
"I want to die. I want to hang myself. I don't want to continue on with my life. It's too tough. I can't do this alone."
The sobbing brought Kihyun to a halt. And it was all noises of weeping afterwards.
"Dear, what is your name?" asked the stranger.
"Ki- Kihyun." stuttered Kihyun.
"I'm Wonho. Would you be my friend?"
As random as that sounded, it was the start of a new, hopefully healing relationship. What Kihyun heard was something truly sincere, from someone who truly cared.
"We can be friends?"
"We can be friends," assured Wonho, "now i need you to answer my questions as honest as you can, alright?"
"O- Okay."
"Have you been hurting yourself?" inquired the stranger.
"Yes... but not right now. For now... I just want to die."
"Are there any harmful objects around you?"
"... A rope. I want to hang myself. I feel useless in this world. Useless. Helpless."
"Darling, you matter. You're important. The situation is tough, I know. But you've been doing a fantastic job. Stay with me."
Kihyun didn't reply. He felt overwhelmed, and doubtful. Was he, frankly, important? Had he, truthfully, been doing a fantastic job?
"Kihyun, I'm proud of you for still being able to continue on after all that. You're great, darling. You tried to be strong. You tried to get through it. And you've succeeded. Now, let's bring down your anxiety levels, are you still with me?"
"Yes..."
"You're going to inhale softly through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. You will do it three times, at the count of three, okay?"
"Okay."
"One. Two. Three."
Kihyun did what he was told. And he felt less panicked, he felt... safer.
"That's good. Kihyun, do you think you can get rid of that rope? Put it outside, or somewhere not so accessible?"
"..."
The stranger received no response. But there were noises, maybe Kihyun went to put the rope away.
"I put it outside the door."
"Good to hear... May I ask for your address?"
Another pause came upon. This time, it was short.
"Are you coming?"
"If you allow me to, I will."
"Please... be quick."
Because I can't hold the demons in me any longer. I'm afraid I will hang myself. I know I will regret it. But I can't fight it.
Kihyun shakily typed his address and sent the stranger a message.
"I got your text. I will be there as fast as possible. Now, Kihyun, I need you to stay right where you are, don't go anywhere, and promise me you won't hurt yourself till I come, can you do that for me?"
"I - I don't know." replied Kihyun blankly.
"If you do feel like hurting yourself, give me a call immediately."
