and I will show you how it still shines like gold."
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Chapter two.
Wonho came.
Like an angel to brighten up his dark, miserable life, the life that he described as a piece of trash to the world. Yoo Kihyun was currently jobless, he had no college qualifications whatsoever, living was getting tremendously harder for him.
And the worst thing was he didn't know what to do to fix the wrongs. He didn't know where to start, where to find the lights.
"Kihyun. It's me, Wonho."
At his door, stood Wonho, with a warm smile. They had never met each other, even the call was unintentional. But the moment they met, Wonho knew in front of him was Yoo Kihyun.
The fact that Wonho actually came, like he promised, brought Kihyun to tears. Again. Tears dripped from his despaired eyes down to his trembling face. The wall, the wall that had been holding him up, just collapsed. The thick mask he had been wearing was uncovered.
It wasn't any ordinary cry. It was a sobbing coming from a person drained of energy, of hope.
"Hey hey, it's alright. I'm here now."
Wonho embraced him with his muscular, protective arms, bringing Kihyun the feeling he had been longing for.
"I'm here. I'll always be here for you. That, I promise you."
Kihyun was clinging onto him as tightly as he could, providing Wonho a desire he couldn't comprehend, a desire to protect this broken human being, to take care and fix every piece of him.
Sitting on a coach in the small living room, still holding Kihyun tight in his arms, Wonho studied the surrounding, and also Kihyun.
"How old are you?"
"I'm... 22." replied Kihyun.
Kihyun was 5 years younger than Wonho, and was perhaps as small as half of Wonho's size. Kihyun was, in all honesty, beautiful. His soft arched eyebrows charmingly complimented the round, hazel eyes that, tragically, bore every wrongdoing that had been poured upon him. The glimmer in his eyes portrayed a poor, despondent soul. His pale pink, thin lips trembled lightly.
Kihyun had mentioned he was jobless, which explained the condition of his living space. It was a small, substandard studio apartment, which combined living room, bedroom and kitchen into a single room.
One thing that caught Wonho's eyes was a simple bookshelf at a corner of the room. There weren't much books, but were well-organized.
"I like to read."
Kihyun added when he saw Wonho's gaze was fixed on his bookshelf.
"What kinds of books?"
"I used to try to calm myself with chicken soup for the souls. But it's no longer working..."
Kihyun was still wrapped in Wonho's arms. He wanted to feel the tenderness of being loved, being cared for for a little longer, even if the man holding him was a total stranger. Wonho naturally patted Kihyun's head.
"What else do you like, Kihyun? Or love."
"... I don't know."
"Anything. Anything that comes into your mind."
Kihyun didn't respond for a really long while, he was thinking incredibly hard about it.
"I like... rain. It's very calming... And puppies, too."
"Go on."
"I like kimchi... I like peace..."
And the list went on, until Wonho finally stopped him.
"I asked you to name all the things you love... but when would you name yourself?"
It felt like an electric shock rushing inside his body, awakening all of him. Yeah... Did he love himself? Had he ever loved himself? When was the last time he loved himself?
If Kihyun couldn't even love his own self, how could others do that for him?
He stayed quiet, thinking about Wonho's words, until Wonho spoke up again.
"Have you tried contacting a doctor?"
"I don't trust them, not anymore. They're just big talkers and money-hungers. I met three doctors in the last two months, they told me I was the one to blame... They said people who had it worse than me were doing fine, and so could I."
Kihyun stopped for a short break as his emotion slowly built up. The doctors' words placed even harsher pressure on him, deceiving him into believing his unworthiness.
"I don't believe it, Wonho. I don't think those people are doing fine. I don't even think they're alive, considering myself having already attempted suicidal act even when my case isn't as bad."
Pulling his sleeves upwards, Kihyun showed Wonho the scars, those that marked the harms Kihyun did to himself. There were old scars, there were new scars, on top of one another, like a spider web.
"I'm sorry..."
Wonho couldn't help but apologize, gently touching the scars. This fragile boy, why... why did he choose to hurt himself this way?
"I don't want to see any more wounds on you. Darling, you're beautiful. You're a precious human being, a precious friend. Please don't continue cutting yourself, promise me?"
"I don't know..."
Kihyun shook his head. As much as he appreciated the man's protection, they were still strangers after all.
"I understand. We just met. It's hard for you to have faith in me. I'll wait, Kihyun. Don't rush. Take your time."
