I had the most awesome night with Carter last night. He laid with me in my custom-sized bed, and held me all night. We talked about everything: his "job", his family, and just his life in general. When he told me his mother died of cancer, I could tell that was a touchy subject for him. I finally knew the truth as to why he never talked about his life to me: It would've just led to family and all that pain. And last night, I hit a nerve.
~FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT~
I was laying on my side, Carter pressed up on me from behind and hugging my waist. I turned around in his arms to face him. "Tell me about you." I demanded softly. His face hardened and I could feel his heart rate speed up at least a thousand beats. I touched the side of his face with my hand and placed my other hand on his chest. "Calm down, Carter. Just tell me about you." I said. He blew out a breath and proceeded to tell me a story. A story of his life.
"My dad left my mother before I was born. I don't know him and I don't wanna fucking know him, because he's a coward. The only love I've ever known in my life was from my mother. She was my rock, my everything. I didn't have everything I wanted, but I always had what I needed. When I was about fourteen years old, my mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I remember reading up on it in the library, and thinking that is a slow and painful way for a woman to die." By that time, tears were falling out of his eyes and I wiped them away. He pressed on. "My mom had a huge heart, and I loved her to death. Before the cancer, I had a close relationship with God and I was comfortable with my faith. But when that tragedy happened, I started to hate God and everything that he stood for. I felt like he chose me to pick on and he killed my mother. I will never get my faith back and I will never forgive him. When my mother died, I was asleep in her hospital bed next to her, holding her hand in mine. I remember the nurses and doctors rushing in and taking me out of the room. A couple minutes later, someone from child welfare came into the waiting room and told me my mother had passed away, and due to the circumstances they were going to cremate her. I bawled as the lady told me she had to put me in an all-boy group home, later on that day. That's where I met my friend Joe, who passed on his drug cartel to me. He's the only man that I really love, besides my best friend Trey. We've been through so much together and I appreciate everything he's done for me. I didn't want to tell you about my ass life, because you had this priveleged life-style, and I thought you would judge me for it." He admitted to me. He buried his head into my neck, and his tears wet up my skin.
"I would never judge anyone for their differences. Just because you live this life doesn't mean that I look at you any differently. You're still awesome in my eyes." I said. He looked at me and laughed through his tears. "What?" I asked.
"You sounded so corny and white when you said that." He said. I laughed, and we laid there, falling asleep in each other's arms.
~End Of Flashback~
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I looked over to my bed at a sleeping Carter. He had took off his Versace outfit in the middle of the night, which was all over the floor next to the bed. I smiled and took the black terry cloth towel off of my head, going into the bathroom, turning on my big curling iron. I ran my fingers through my now air dry hair, and smiled. My hair really made me feel beautiful all the time. If I wasn't confident about anything else, I was always comfortable with my hair.
