dirty dreams ;)

Smile

I am standing now as usual in my spot at the bottom of the beach house waiting for him to pass like he always does this time at night. Who is he? You already know he is my crush Dylan.

I normally just stand and watch him sit in the bench opposite to the house, admire his features and then he walks away. However Yesterday, he did something he has never done before, he stared at me. I was with my friend and she was poking me all the time, a more subtle way to say : OMG GURL HE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING YOUR WAY. Once he was gone she was scolding me for hours because of the way I avoided eye contact during the 15 minutes in heaven. She also gave me a lecture about how I should not only look at him next time, but smile at him to show him my interrest, therefore provoking his interest in exchange. So today, I decided to test this theory.

My heart is racing already and he isn't even here yet! God forbid, I may have a heart attack when I lay my eyes on him.

Today, the street is unusually full of people, he is late, and I am just afraid that I won't get a glimpse of him, that is if he even shows up. My mood is slowely shifting and my once very high self-esteem is degrading too. I look at the ground for a second convinced that the universe is playing a sick joke on me : when I finally grow a pair and I am ready to look and even smile at him, he won't show up.

I look up again, and as the human clouds clear up, I can see through the openings between their arms a cute Dylan sitting on his bench and staring at his phone.

My heart-beat just went straight up from a 90 to 150. All at once, he looks up staright into my eyes, like he knew I would be sitting here, looking at him, and I loose control. I have no control over my eyes as they hover down.

-" What the hell am I doing? Bitching out like this.. Not again, not this time" I say to myself building up the courage that I quickly lost.

This is it. I look at him, and just like yesterday, he is still staring at me. My stomach is fluttering, my hands are shaking, my heart is aching in a good way. A very good way that makes a giggle escape my lips and I finally break eye contact.

I find myself wanting to do it again, get that wonderful magical feeling that makes my heart skip a beat and my mind float in space. I think this is what drugs feel like.

Before I get too distracted I look back up to find him still waiting for me. He looks so perfect. I use up all the bravery I have to do it, to smile. He stays calm for a while which makes me nervous, have I fucked up? But then he smiles back at me and he bites his soft lips.

Oh my! What is this slutty feeling that I am experiencing right now? I get the giggles again and I laugh even harder when I look up and he is laughing too. My confidence is at a 100% and I just feel extra kincky, so instead of stoping there, I give him a little wave with my hand, like an open invite that I know he won't respond to. He looks at his phone for a bit, which, again gets me thinking if I messed up but he surprises me when he puts the phone in his pocket and gets up.

Holy shit! He is fucking walking my way. I am panicking so hard right now. I never planned for this to happen. What should I do? What will he say? Oh my god what kind of a mess have I gotten into!

-"Hi" He breaks my series of unwanted questions with his deep sexy voice.

-"Hello"

-"It really is a nice night. Don't you think?"

-"Uh, yeah." I avoid eye contact at all cost.

-"So, I was just sitting over there, I though u were cute and all, and maybe I should say hi"

My exitment is over the roof at this point! I cannot wait to tell my friend! She would be so proud.

-"Thanks"