Love, hate and everything in between

~Chapter 20~

••James' POV••

Brooke was rushed away in an ambulance while I had to explain to the guys what happened.

"We'll stay here with Gabby. You go." Carlos said.

"Keep us informed." Logan replied.

I nodded and ran out to my car. I tried my best to keep my tears to a minimum. I could've saved her. I couldn't jumped out that window and saved her. What if she dies? What if she killed herself? I pull over to the side of the road and lean my head against the steering wheel. Tears to a minimum, James. Tears to a minimum. I had to keep driving. I had to get to the hospital. When I did finally arrive, I hurriedly parked the car and ran inside. How many times have I been in this damn hospital? Is someone keeping track? I lost count after 4!

"Brooke Maslow. Please tell me she's alive!" I said to the lady at the counter.

"She's alive. For now. She almost died. If the gutter from the roof wouldn't have slowed the falling she would be dead." The woman responded.

"May I see her?"

"At the moment? No. She's in pretty bad shape. The doctors are working as fast as they can to keep her heart rate stable. For now, just wait in the waiting room."

I nod and take my seat in a chair. The last thing I want to do is sit! I want to check on her! I want to be in there with her. I want to know she'll be okay. She can't leave me like this. I can't face the world knowing my wife committed suicide. I can't have her leave me. Don't take her away from me. Seconds passed and turned to minutes. Those minutes passed and turned to slow torturing hours. The woman at the counter was working on paperwork and most likely wasn't even acknowledging the fact I was still here. Once it was about 10:40PM the doctor finally came out my way.

"Mr. Maslow?" He asked, stopping by me.

"That's me." I replied hopefully.

"She's stable. For now. You should be able to see her tomorrow afternoon. She's still in pretty bad shape. Her heart rate is still low. As of now, she'll live. But it's honestly a miracle. That was a risky fall."

I thanked him and watched as he walked away to start another life saving project. I couldn't sit here and wait until tomorrow afternoon. I definitely couldn't go home. I looked around and realized I was the only one here. I quietly got up and went the way the doctor came until I found her name tag on the door. I slowly opened the door and walked in. The lights were off and I was afraid she was going to leave me. I walked over and opened the hospital curtain letting in the city nightlife and the moonlight. With that little bit of light I could see her in bed. She was pale and unmoving. She had a huge cut on her forehead that had been stitched. There were also various cuts and bruises on her legs and arms as well. I turned away and sat on the chair. The quietness was killing me. I took out my phone and shuffled my music allowing it to play. The music was loud enough for me to hear it, but not loud enough for the doctors to hear it. As I pressed play I felt goosebumps shoot up my arms. I soon realized the song that was playing was "Kiss me slowly". It was the song I kissed Brooke to and danced with her to when she was in the hospital. Ya know? Before those other 67 times? I turned up the volume a little and sat down slowly.

"Stay with me, baby stay with me, tonight don't leave me alone, walk with me, come and walk with me..to the edge of all we've ever known

I can see you there with the city lights, 14th floor pale blue eyes, I can breathe you in as our heads lean in"

"I thought maybe you'd kiss me again. Like back then." I heard her voice soft and raspy.

I turn and see her eyes squinting open. I swallow the lump in my throat and get up slowly from the chair. I'm afraid to walk over to her. I'm afraid that..she's afraid.