What Goes Through The Dark

For Jolly

Why must you leave? You come and go just as fast as this cold winter breeze, making me cold and longing for your warmth, your touch, your attention.

You leave before I get the chance to see the happiness in your eyes...is there any...when you see me?

I know I can feel it in myself when I see you, I feel happy!

I feel strange...

I feel the butterflies throwing themselves inside at my stomach walls, demanding to be freed from my darkness my mind creates inside of me.

I want to be like a butterfly, so energetic and free-moving, not having a care in the world other than wondering the Earth's greenery and flowers.

I want to be brave enough to yell my feelings to the world.

I want to be courageous enough to tell you that I...

No. Nevermind that.

I long to be so confident as to just lunge out and hold you in my arms, even for just 5 seconds... because I know I'll have to let you go.

I know you can't take my hugs for as long as I'd wish, and I know that if I were to hold onto you any longer...I don't think I'd ever let go.

The notes are lovely

I appreciate them and smile and squeal happily holding it to my chest.

It brings me so much joy that I can only open and take a peak before I react this way.

The privilege of getting to see you everyday...

that...

THAT is what makes my day!

Just getting to see you, even a feather-like touch of your hand...

I will be perfectly happy to just see you everyday.

Letter or no letter, those letters are only special because YOU are the one who writes them for me...

but thank you, I wish I could've seen you face to face today,

oh well...I still hope you have the best of days