Me

Acceptance

I told myself over and over again to stop writing about you. Not only because I want to and all it has ever done is put another piece of you in me, strung me one more inch into the World of YouYouYou. But also because I think you've stopped writing about me long before I could grasp the idea of letting you go. And then there are nights like these; nights where I stumble across a thought in my head, my heart started tugging and...I apologize, but I start missing you again. I'd tell myself not to look, not to search for answers that I already know of but yet — here I am. Once again, in your mercy.

I gaze solemnly back towards the door that I came from because I knew; I knew that if I didn't then I'm accepting the fact that you had just become...another past. But I'm ready, I'm already so ready to plunge myself into this new beginning and maybe, maybe a part of me didn't want to ever see you again. Yet, I knew— that I'm lying to myself. Inside I was hoping, inside I was screaming and shouting at the World for this unfairness. How injustice it was to tear us apart when, when we were so good to each other. And maybe I just wanted another chance, another hold. But I knew we were too late. We're in so deep and I just wish, for one second, to breathe you in again.

But you smell different this time. And the unfamiliarity caught me off guard. I hope my smile did for you, too.

— is