Clarity

Part 13

Justin POV

A scream woke me up from my slumber, I should have been used to it by now, but I never seemed to be able to. To hear her scream, because of God knows what she envisioning with her eyes closed.

Today was going to be the last night of her under my roof daily and it was tearing me apart. I had gotten used to coming home to my little girl, to her giggling, her tears, and even her screams from nightmares like these.

I got up making sure not to trip over anything on the floor in the dark.

Her sheets were tossed on the floor, she had probably kicked them off.

"I got you babygirl, I got you." I lifted her up from her bed, by this point there was tears coming down her face, she had woken up with her own screaming. I kissed her forehead, before positioning her on my hip, her little head on the crook of my neck.

I took her to my room, like I had the first night. This time, however, I didn't let her go. I couldn't. She was in distress, even though it was just a nightmare, it didn't change the fact that she couldn't sleep through the night.

Why would I let my little girl go, my princess, when she saved my life?

"Selena?"

I couldn't comprehend why she was there. I hadn't seen her in a least a month and things hadn't ended the greatest between us.

I realized that I was in the lowest of lows for me, but she somehow always saw light in me until I stupidly convinced her otherwise, every single time.

She seemed out of it, in her own world. Never had I seen her act like that.

She slightly jumped at the sight of my voice, before looking up at me. She seemed scared, not necessarily of me, but worried about something.

"I-I need to talk to you." her voice was soft, almost like she couldn't raise it. From the look in her eyes, I knew I couldn't deny what she was asking for, I forgot about the plans I had made.

She awaited my response, it took me a little bit, I was so in shock that she was standing in front of me.

"Sure, do you want to go up to my room?" I figured she would want to talk to me in private, with no possibility of someone hearing.

She nodded her head.

I began walking, turning back only to make sure she was following me.

The energy between us was too tense to to walk side by side.

I did my best not to call attention to myself, especially at this point in my life, however, I found it increasingly difficult to do so with Selena being there.

How could I not react?

I pressed the up button outside of the elevators and waited in awkward silence with Selena a few feet away from me.

The elevator ride was filled with the same energy, it didn't help that I was staying at the top floor.

My steeps grew heavy the closer I—we— got to my room. If I'm being honest, I was terrified of what Selena had to talk to me about.

I seriously didn't want to have the 'I'm disappointed in you' talk,nor did I think I could make through any conversation with her without completely breaking. She always found a way to shatter my walls within seconds, by just being her.

But what scared me the most was that Selena looked disheveled herself.

What could have her acting and looking this way?

I pushed the key card into the lock contraption thing on my room door until the light turned green and I pushed it open.

"Want something to drink?" I sure needed it.

I looked behind me for the first time since the lobby. Selena was chewing on her bottom lip —a nervous gesture.

"No." her voice was still the same volume as before.

I poured myself a shot —of two— of tequila.

I tilted my head towards the couch at the center of the room, signifying for Selena to sit down for us to talk.

After feeling the burning sensation of the tequila running down my throat and a slight buzz that took the edge off, I made my way to the same couch, sitting on the opposite end from where Selena had chosen to sit.

Silence engulfed us as both of us seemingly built up the courage to speak.

In the next few moments, Selena would say two words that would completely change our lives forever...

I noticed her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath, before she finally spoke.

"I'm pregnant."

There was an annoying, high pitched sound the woke me up out of my slumber. My eyes were blurry as I reached over to my phone to stop the shrill noise.

By this point my arm was numb and I definitely had drool on me, but I didn't care.

Noelle's cheek was pressed against my chest, her toddler-sized body seemed to curl up to be even smaller, as she finally was peacefully sleeping.

My little girl slept with her mouth open, something she had done since before birth.

If you don't believe me, I have an ultrasound picture to prove it.

Her hair was sticking to the sweat on my chest. I was sweating because of the dream I had had. I didn't like to think about that time in my life, even if that specific moment was the highlight of that part of me.

I hoped and prayed everyday that when Noelle grew up and found out the inevitable, that her father was a drug addict and had a criminal record, she wouldn't be too disappointed.

I had stopped for her —from the second I knew she existed I made the decision to turn my life around for my unborn child and Selena.

I looked down at my princess and —call me weird if you want, but I don't care— just looked at her for almost two hours.

I didn't know when I would have this luxury next.

I knew I had Noelle until lunchtime.

I had thought over an option that I hadn't taken into account —I probably should have— prior.

Selena and I didn't have a set custody agreement in place, both of us had decided that our daughter was to young to be constantly moving her around. However, because of Selena's incident, I got a taste of something that I should have fought harder for.

Even if Selena and I came to an agreement in civil terms, I could see Noelle more.

Because I missed her so much, I hadn't even dropped her off at her mother's at that point and I missed her.

If I had the chance to not feel that pain to such a degree, then I was surely not going to pass it up.

I just hoped Selena agreed and we didn't have to get lawyers involved.