Bananinjasss

F.A.L.T.U

Sharku
I wake up in a puddle of water. I did not know I was this sleepy. Hehehe. I am definitely not going to make it before 2. But then Sans and Shit will have to stay back as well!
Hi everyone!
I am Sharky Aathoceanwali.
I know shit did not have the modesty to introduce you to us, nor did the crazy author have it in her. So I must take up the job!
(At times like these I feel Shit and the author are same- I mean both of them are absurd and shitty.)
I live with my best friends sansui and shit! We go to this uni. Called Fucktards And Lousyheads Trust University in the posh town of Peli in Bhindiyaan.
I am an aspiring lawyer and Shit goes to the law college with me. Sans is doing a graduation in economics in a college not far from ours. My uni. Is like most other unis other than the medical wing. Its has two batches namely "I earned it" (IET) and "Dad bought it" (DBI). This is a simple process of picking out meritorious students from those whose are not.
Quite obvious!
Recently a collective course has started for all streams of the uni.
"Combat bimborrism" Luckily my slot has some students from eco and Sans is one of the. She is strangely compassionate about bimborrism!
Ever since the bimborrism attack in a school facewasher in pottistan got her on her toes.. we couldn't help but take bimborrism seriously.
Annoyingly, I notice that few DBI students are also in our slot. I trace my fingers down the list.
1) Jeene nahi doonga pattinson
2) kabhi khushi kabhi gum stewart
3) suryavansham lautner
4) Munni badnam hui
5) Sheila ki jawani
6) Tinku jia
7) Jalebi bai
8) basanti
9) inn kutton
10) ke samne
11) mat nachna
12) Iye kandy
(That catches my eye. Maybe he is just a student with an easy peasy job at uni.)
13) yeh rishta
14) kya kehlata hai
15) sasural
16) simar ka
17) Sandy Sundi
18) Vasooli
19) pappi bhai
20) Tushar Bharpoor
(Why do they look strangely familiar? I am sure they are not law students.)
21) Washing powder wormie
22) Sharky aathoceanwali
23) Shit- who must not be named!
24) Sansui stardust Awards
25) yevadu himmatwala
26) dolly bindra
27) Angry sucker
28) Monkey ass
29) Rahul gandhi
30) Namo
31) hema
32) Rekha
33) Jaya
34)Sushma
35) Nirma
By the end of it.. I have a strange feeling about the list. This is an eccentric list. I know none of them. Okay maybe a few of them are familiar but for the rest of them I think that I have seen them on bellyvision in one of my past lives!
Hehehe
Kidding!
Ya I know!
It is impossible! How can bellyvision even feature someone with a name as strange as Tushar Bharpoor.
Anyway pushing aside my gut feeling I  head towards the lecture hall. There I see Shit and Sans chatting excitedly over some real Shit! I mean if Shit's talking she gotta talk about Shit!
Sans : So this guy yevadu is really smart! He is the typical dream guy! He is smart and witty and courteous and .. he is my crush for the whole of this life!
Shit : Last time I checked he and Pasta were a thing!
Sans : That was decades ago! We had a little date thing and I insisted to pay and he let me!
I pop in.
Sharku : wow! Dream date! Driving your guy to the date! Holding his jeans so he doesnt trip over! Pulling out a chair for him! And paying.. dreamy yet cliché
Sans : I know right! But the thing is he told me how he and pasta weren't a thing anymore
Shit : And you were delighted! You little little evil!
Suddenly I spot Iye Kandy enter the hall. Yevadu is by his side. I look at Sans! She has the same expression on her face!! Delight! I choose to look at Shit! Wait, why is she delighted!
Then enters a scrawny guy with a sandwhich!
Yea right!
Shit got hots for the sandwhich!
Real shit!
(Even I got hots for the sandwhich by the way)
Yevadu and Iye seat themselves right behind us. We wait for the class to start. Bimborrism is indeed a very sensitive topic. It has destroyed many lives. It has killed people and robbed them of their happiness.
Sans : Hey guys, what does a french kiss mean?
Out of nowhere an extremely tall nuthead hops on our desk
Raja : Ok hi! I am Raja Varanasi! But RJ does fine. And yes. It is the practice of shoving tongues down each other's throats for an exchange of affection and pathogens. The nuthead stands on the desk conveniently and hops on his own desk. Right across us
Today is a weird day.