Bring It Back

how strange that i don't know you at all

Exclusive Interview - Harry Styles' Estranged Father Wants to Regain Contact With Him

october 11th, 2016

The first thing Norah thinks to do after she sees the photos is to text Harry. He's a (former?) famous person who's dealt with this countless times, so surely he'll know what to do. Then she remembers that she doesn't have his number, and after the way their last encounter went down, she's not too sure if she wants to ask him for it just yet either.

The second thing that she thinks she should do is tell Lucas, which makes a lot more sense than her first option, because he is still sitting right next to her. He's staring at her with a confused expression on his face, which is just about as dynamic as he ever gets, and she realizes that he's probably wondering why the hell she looks like she's seconds away from having a panic attack.

But right before Norah's about to tell him about what's gotten her so shaken up, she takes a closer look at the photo and notices the therapy office in the background. It's not hard to notice, which, she realizes, is exactly why she doesn't want Lucas to see it. She knows that if he sees the photos, he'll want to know what she's doing at a therapy office anyway, and why she hasn't told him. He'll act like it doesn't bother him, but they'll both know that it does, even though they're not exactly sure why. But Norah isn't ready to tell Lucas that she goes to therapy just yet, despite them having been friends for almost a year. Yes, she's told Layla and Liz, but only because she sort of has to–and besides, she hasn't told them why. Thankfully, neither of them have asked, but she's aware that they both know. This makes Norah wonder what it must be like for Harry, having the entire world know about something that he wants to keep to himself so badly.

The thought of something like that happening to her makes Norah feel sick to her stomach. The media won't leak private information about her the same way they did to Harry, right? They wouldn't. She isn't a celebrity, she's simply been linked to one, and that won't be enough to make journalist want to dig deeper into her life–or at least, that's what she hopes.

"Norah?" Lucas' voice tugs her out of her thoughts and reminds her that she has somewhere else to be right now that is outside of her own head. "Are you okay?" He asks this cautiously, like he's treading on thin ice with her. Like if he doesn't work hard enough at it, it might sound like he actually cares. She isn't sure what she is supposed to feel about this, so she decides not to feel anything at all.

"I'm fine." The lie spills out of her quickly, like if it stays inside of her for too long, it will stick to the base of her throat and poison her from the inside out. "Everything is fine."

Either Lucas doesn't know her well enough to question her, or he just doesn't care, but for some reason, both options make her stomach turn. "Okay. Well, I have to go. I have an afternoon class that starts in ten minutes."

"Okay," Norah says. "Sure. I'll text you." Then she remembers that texting isn't necessarily something they do, but thankfully, he doesn't question that either. Instead, he nods his head (she can't decide whose smile is more rare, Lucas' or Harry's), steps out of his chair, and then makes his way out of the lab, leaving her to dwell in her own mind all by herself.

All of a sudden, the room seems too quiet (which makes sense, since she's the only person in it), and it makes her feel nervous. And not the good kind of nervous, but the kind that takes over your whole body and makes you want to hug your knees to your chest and rock your body back and forth. The kind of nervous that should solely be reserved for hospital rooms and late night exam cram sessions, not situations like this one. But for some reason, she just can't seem to help herself.

Cherry's words echo in the back of her head: Remember to breathe. You're safe. It's not the end of the world. She tries to listen to them in order to help calm herself down, but when they prove to be ineffective, she quickly presses shuffle on her phone and an angry rock song begins to spill out of her phone. She doesn't even like the song, not really, but it's loud and bitter enough to take her mind off of the photos, at least for now, and so she keeps it on.