Bring It Back

don't you cry for me, baby

chapter nine
Harry Styles' Mystery Girl Revealed - Norah Winters, 19
october 29th, 2016

"And have there been any new additions or improvements to your life lately?"

Norah stares blankly at Cherry for a moment before shrugging her shoulders half heartedly. The two of them have been sitting in her office for almost an hour (she knows this because she's counting down the minutes until she can get out of here), and her therapist seems to be rather disappointed with the lack of progress she's made in this particular session. Not that it should be anything to be surprised by, because she rarely ever gets a word out of Norah as it is, but for a short period of time, therapy hadn't been going as terrible as usual. Norah had been slowly beginning to open up–coincidentally at the same time her friendship with Harry had been blossoming. But the minute that had come to an end, so had any sort of development with Cherry, and the woman had clearly noticed.

"I'm not sure if that's an answer, dearie," Cherry said slowly. She always sounded patient, even when Norah was pretty sure she would have much rather been yanking her hair out. "You seemed to be a lot happier in our previous sessions. More content."

Norah doesn't answer her. Instead, she keeps her eyes firmly directed on the framed photo of a little girl on Cherry's desk. She's never stated who the girl is, and while Norah is pretty sure that she's most likely her daughter, sometimes when sessions get especially difficult, she likes to play a game with herself guessing who the girl might be. A celebrity crush turned obsessive. A niece that she wishes were her own. But for some reason, her mind is blank today.

"Norah?" Cherry says her name so softly that it is enough to make her snap. She is done with people treating her like she is something fragile, something that could be broken with a simple snap of the fingers. She is done with this, partly because that's the same way Harry touched her, and yet it still proved to be too much for him. But also because deep down, she knows that she is, was, the same way towards her mother. And she hates it. She hates how she is both of these people, too little and too much, all at the same time.

"No," she snaps at her, and the anger dripping from her voice is so audible that she's surprised Cherry doesn't flinch with her tone. "There have been no new additions or improvements to my life. I am not content, and I'm certainly–certainly not happy." Her voice breaks on the last word, and before she knows it, she's crying, crying in front of this woman who has never been anything but warm and kind to her. Crying in front of this woman who looks, and feels, and sounds so much like her mother, but never will be.

Cherry doesn't get up and hug her like she's afraid she might. Instead, a blank expression remains on her face–which Norah is grateful for, because the last thing she needs is anybody's pity right now–and after a moment, she passes a multi colored Kleenex box over to her. Norah tries to say thank you, but the words seem to be lodged into her throat. Thankfully, the woman seems to understand, and she shakes her head ever so slightly.

She's about to open her mouth to say something else, but before she has the chance to, she's interrupted by the sound of the small timer on her desk beeping incessantly to notify them that their time together is over. Cherry stares at her, and Norah immediately knows what she's going to say–she wants to extend their session even longer. And so, before she can entangle herself in something that will only be more difficult for her to sit through, she slides out of her chair and steps out of Cherry's office without another word.

+++
Norah's first Public Speaking class after her fight (argument? falling out? She has no idea what she's supposed to call it, because she has no idea what the two of them even are–were–to each other) with Harry is nothing short of brutal. She comes in earlier than he does, which is strange, because she's usually the last person in the classroom–sometimes even later than the professor. Sitting in her usual seat has become such a habit that she doesn't even think twice before sliding into it, but the look on Harry's face when he walks into the classroom and sees her makes her rethink her decision. For a second, she's afraid that he might come and sit next to her, afraid that he might realize that this is exactly what she wants, but after a moment, he unfreezes and goes to sit at an empty seat in the back of the hall. Norah keeps her eyes focused on the screen of her phone, and tries to act like she isn't upset.