Fear

Chapter 3

I was still held when I woke. I was momentarily afraid before I recalled the dream and then puzzled that I could still feel his arms around me. Daylight fought with the light above my bed and I could see that I was alone, and yet...I knew he was still there, on my bed, by my side, just not visible.

Did you sleep well, sholry?

"One of the best sleeps for a long time, Grant. Thank you."

I will accompany you through your day. Just say my name if you need me for any reason, Eloisa, and I'll make myself known to you. Other people cannot see me either.

"Why can't I see you?"

As I explained earlier, your mind has been altered, and your memories changed. We don't fully understand yet, but we work on the problem.

"We?"

The rest of us from Wolgen. We want you home where you belong complete with all your senses and powers intact.

"How many are here?"

There are three of us. One outside your door, one on the street and myself. More will arrive shortly now that we have located you.

I was reluctant to move, but time moved on. I needed to get ready for work. Being unable to see him was less of a distraction than I expected. When I exited the bathroom, the dip had gone from my bed. I dressed hurriedly into my uniform and went in search of breakfast. Toast would suffice and I slammed bread into the toaster and flicked the switch on the kettle for hot water to make a coffee. There was nothing fancy about my coffee – just freeze dried granules and hot water, made strong to help me face the day after little sleep. Although I felt rested this morning despite my disturbed – and disturbing – night. I smiled slightly at the recollection, and then looked around for my 'visitor'.

I'm still here, sholry. I hope that smile was for me.

"Grant. I was thinking I felt rested despite my dreams – but you are not a dream, are you?"

Only if you want me to be, sholry. I will be your shadow, following behind you, even where there is no sun. You can't see me yet, but you may feel me at times. If you need reassurance, reach out - I will touch you so you know I'm here.

I held out my hand and felt him touch it, wrapping his fingers gently around mine. Soft lips touched my palm and I thrilled at the notion. I felt his warm breath and knew he was real. All I saw was empty space in front of me. It was like being blind, except that I could see everything else. He released my hand so I could make my breakfast. I poured the water into my cup and spread butter thickly onto my toast.

Some things don't change, sholry. You still eat like a bird.

"I have limited finances, Grant. I live as cheaply as possible."

Things will improve, Eloisa. Trust me.

I didn't reply but I hoped so, Grant, I really hoped so. Things could hardly get worse. I was constantly fatigued, worn down from fear and lack of rest, and just a fine line away from starvation. Most things in my apartment were pre-owned, battered or held together with tape or glue, patched to make serviceable for my needs. Apart from my company provided uniform, I had a few tatty pieces of clothing that I mixed and swapped around to make different looks. My reflection only showed tiredness and despair in my features. Hope still sprung within my heart, but only just. Life just constantly knocked me down, and all my ambitions and aspirations were long dead.

I swigged back the coffee and washed out the cup, using the damp cloth to wipe off toast crumbs from the counter surface. Time to leave. I grabbed my coat and exited, locking the door behind me. The weather was grim again – wet and chilly. My coat offered little protection from the chill and it let in the wet. I shivered as I walked, head down to avoid getting my face too cold. I had walked half the way when I realised few people had bumped into me like they usually did. Although the pavement was as busy as usual, I had a clear path. I looked up and watched as people avoided me as I walked through them. It was as if I had a force field around me, repelling them all. I was amazed although I chuckled quietly. I guessed that Grant and his two friends were protecting me, before and aft. It was amusing.

If I could stop the rain wetting you, I would do it, sholry. This is the best we can do.

I did not reply, not wishing people to think I was mad, talking to myself. Not arriving with smarting limbs would make a pleasant change. And, I wasn't alone. That thought made me glow inside, chasing away the chills. For once, I was reluctant to arrive at work, enjoying the walk and the invisible company I kept. For one ridiculous moment, I felt like a queen with her entourage.

You are, Eloisa. Accept it and enjoy the moment.

I stopped mid-step. People flowed by me like water, without encroaching in my space. Could he hear my thoughts? Or was he just extremely perceptive?

I hear you, sholry. Keep moving. You become a target standing still.

I suppressed a little squeal of fear and felt his arm circle my waist as I started to move again. I resisted the urge to nestle into him to steal his warmth. He felt solid and comfortable against my side. Could he hear all my thoughts? Was everything I thought open to him?

At the moment, yes, sholry. You can learn to shield your thoughts in time, but I know all your wishes, needs and fears. I prefer you to be open with me. We should have no secrets between us. It is how I located you – through your thoughts.

I walked the remainder of the way in a daze and entered the door out of instinct, checking in by rote, my feet taking me to my workspace by habit. Piles of paper lay ready for my attention and I peeled my coat off, draping it around the back of my chair to dry while I worked. I teased my fingers through my tangled wet tresses and smoothed the locks around my face to dry. Wiping my hands down the fabric of my tunic, I started to organise the paper. I filed, copied where necessary and distributed, moving the pile from the left side of the desk to the right where it was periodically picked up and moved on. More appeared on the left. My desk was seldom clear. Nobody spoke to me. They rarely did. I just worked as efficiently as possible, ignoring everyone.