Oh... Nevermind.

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It's been six months and we have been meeting other hunters who have been helping us. I can't sleep most nights. I keep remembering that night. the night Cas died. it goes through my brain over and over. I can't take it anymore. I can't stand seeing the horror in his eyes over and over again. I told him I would die for him. I lied. I lied and now I can't take it back. I can't go back and save him. I lay in the hard motel bed curled up in a ball. crying. I can't breathe and those memories won't leave me alone 'what's wrong with me?' 'Why can't I pull myself together?'

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