Owned

Chapter Thirteen

The lunch bell went off and I was still soaking in the tub. I wasn't very hungry. In fact, I was feeling rather sad. I slid down into the water more. I missed my mom. I really wish she were here to talk to me. I've never dated anyone or had so much male attention before in my life. I just wish I could get some advice from her on what to do.

The first tear rolled down my cheek. Why was life so cruel and unfair. Why did my family deserve to die. Why didn't I die with them. I sniffed once, then twice, then began crying. I turned the shower head on and pulled the plug. I pulled my knees towards my chest and hid my face in them. My eyes burned and my heart felt heavy.

I wish my father was here to see how strong I have been against all this. I wish my mother was here for advice. I wish my brother was here to be protective of me. I had no one though. I was alone, fighting my own battles. I shook and cried. I wish I had some sort of distraction from this feeling.

It feels as if someone took my heart out of my chest. It feels heavy, and lost. I don't know how I will make it without my family. I looked up, trying to breath through my nose. I placed my chin on my knees. Even if Kevin would have made it, at least I would of had someone. Oh lord, why didn't I die when I fell off that roof? Why couldn't I have hit my head and been gone, crossing that bridge with my family. Instead, I'm here. Alive but dead inside. Awake but in an eternal sleep. Numb but in constant pain. I fear for my future.

I stood up, and cleaned my face off. Even if I wasn't hungry, I had to clean after lunch was over and the last thing I want is everyone asking, "Oh, what's wrong?", like it's not already obvious what's wrong. My family's dead! How would they like it if I just replied with that?

I shampooed my hair and tried to calm down. Just because I was suffering didn't mean I had to make others suffer too. I rinsed my body off and finished off my shower. I dried myself, walking naked into my room. I went and stood in front of my mirror. My ribs were showing. My hip bones were sticking out. I looked almost ill. As if I have been going through harsh medical treatment. I looked gross in a way. I wasn't meant to be so small. Hopefully this training with Kat would put some muscle on my body to tone it out. Right now..I was embarrassed of myself.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out the yellow sun dress Theodore gave me the first day I came up from the infirmary. I slipped it on and slipped on a pair of flats. I brushed through my wet hair, trying to make it look decent. I looked at the clock, it was just past one, so lunch just got over. I opened my door and made my way down the stairs and into the living area.

A few people were still here, probably because they can't make it right when the bell rings. I grabbed the large broom in the dinning room and began to sweep around. I didn't rush anything. I moved chairs and swept under them and even helped carry some dishes back into the kitchen since Adam was having to wash all of them. I slowly continued my work, and waved goodbye to the last person who left.

I walked into the living area and began sweeping in there. I looked out the windows, the weather had only gotten worse. The sky was dark but the lighting kept flashing, lighting it up. I sighed and finished sweeping. I went into the kitchen and started to prepare my mop water.

  "Hello, Cassidy", Adam said, walking up to the sink to put more dishes into the water.

I smiled, "Hey Adam, how are you doing?".

He smiled back, "I'm good. Just washing dishes".

I nodded, pouring soap into my bucket, "So much fun isn't it?", I joked.

  "And how are you today? I didn't see you get any food, we have leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry", he motioned his head to the silver fridges lining the back wall.