It's Complicated

Chapter Thirteen

Adam is giving me a smug, all-knowing grin over the vinyl record shelf. I've been at work for about an hour and a half already, and while organizing the strewn records, I had filled Adam in on all that went down at my first lesson at Coven Valley last night. He's been smirking ever since.

"Seriously, Adam, what is with that look?" I whine for probably the fifth time. He just smiles wider and shakes his head. I groan and shoot him a glare, but we both know I don't really mean it. He is my best friend after all. I promptly try to ignore him, going about tucking records into their proper places and mentally cursing everyone who has ever pulled one out and simply left it lying around on the shelving instead of putting it back. It's not like it takes that much more effort to simply slip it back where you got it from. Come on, people.

"So, you think Isabelle will turn out to be a new friend?" He asks innocently, but I can still hear the smirk in his voice. I give him a hard look. "Maybe. I mean, I still barely know her." I reply with a shrug. Sure, despite our rocky start, I'd like to have Isabelle as a friend, simply because she looks like she could really use one. I've realized recently that maybe I judged her too harshly at first. Maybe Dani was right and I've been pushing away a potential friend simply because I was jealous of her success. Maybe I can learn a few tips and tricks from her to help improve my rides.

   Adam hums in reply, pulling my focus back to him from the few records I currently have in my hands. "Why?" I ask suspiciously. He shakes his head, struggling to bite back his grin. "No reason. Just wondering if I need to find a new BFF or not." I shoot him another playful glare. He grins back, finally realizing that holding it back wasn't working anymore. "Nonsense. You're irreplaceable." He laughs and nods, like 'yeah, I know'.

   We pass a few minutes in silence, but a comfortable silence. A silence between friends who've known each other for years. He takes a deep breath, making me glance up at him. He furrows his eyebrows for a moment before shaking his head. This, however, piques my interest. "What?" I push. He glances in my direction briefly before letting out a sigh. "It's just..." He drags off his sentence, bringing up his left hand to rub the back of his neck. I quirk an eyebrow up. "It's just, what?" I finally ask when he doesn't continue.

   He looks at me with a measured gaze, seemingly calculating his next words. "Do you remember when I was first struggling with my sexuality?" He finally asks. I nod, cause how could I forget. It was a very hard time for Adam and I was naturally the one he came to. I was more than happy to help him in any way I could, and that was usually just sitting and listening to him talk or pulling him into tight hugs as he cried. He nods back. "Okay. So, don't take this the wrong way," he continues, "but I'm kinda getting that vibe right now."

   My eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he gives me a cautious look. I open my mouth to reply, but I honestly have no idea what to say to that. I've never questioned my sexuality. Ever. However, that doesn't seem to be stopping the people in my life from doing it for me. First Dani and now Adam. Who's next?

   "Adam, you know I obviously have nothing against same sex relationships, but I'm not gay." He gives me a bored look. "There's more than just gay and straight, sweetie." I roll my eyes, biting back my snarky remark, choosing instead to put away the last few records uselessly decorating the shelves. "Abby, I'm not necessarily saying anything, I'm just telling you that this sort of reminds me of what I went through." I meet his eye briefly and nod. I'm not angry with him. I'm just tired of people unintentionally messing with my head. "It's okay. I get it." I mumble back, before turning my attention to the CD shelves behind me.

Adam heaves a mild sigh, but doesn't say anything more. I can hear his footsteps retreating back to the front of the store as I continue to sort through the merchandise. The soft strains of some random classical song filters through the speakers, making me smile ever so slightly. Adam beat me to work today and therefore got to choose what we listened to. He chose Beethoven, or something like that. I'm not exactly up to speed on classical musician. But whatever it is, it's soothing and seems to be helping my currently frazzled nerves.

Despite me not wanting to go there, my mind drifts over what my two best friends have said. I still don't believe them. I've never had any reason to think that I'm maybe not as straight as I think I am. I've always been too busy with Starr to even think about potential relationships anyway. He is, and always will be, my number one priority in life. But then my mind drifts back to Isabelle's smile last night and I suddenly become aware of the vague feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I pause what I'm doing for moment, but the feeling has already passed just as quickly as it came. Brushing it aside, I go back to wandering the shelves on my way back to the front counter.

   Adam looks up and offers me a small smile as I approach. "Look, sweetie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything." I wave him off and smile back, my lips just quirking up slightly at the corners. "It's okay. I value your opinion, Adam. That's why I tell you everything that goes on in my life." He smiles back, looking somewhat relieved. I can't imagine why though. We've been through too much together for me to hold a grudge or to even get mad at him in general. Like I said, he's my best friend, and no disagreement or difference of opinion is going to change that.

~~~

   We don't discuss Isabelle again for the rest of the day, but that doesn't mean she isn't constantly on my mind. Not in the sense that I'm obsessing over her, but in the sense that something about her is just tugging at my brain and won't let go. It's like, as soon as I'm not consciously thinking of something else, she slips back in. Her smile last lesson compared to the lack of one from the lesson before. That crest fallen look she seems to try so hard to hide when her mother is brutally ripping apart and analyzing her ride, or more what she thinks she did wrong during her ride.

   I'm pulled from my thoughts, thankfully, by my phone buzzing against my hip. Adam lifts his eyebrows beside me. We're technically not allowed our phones while out on the floor, but when it's just me and Adam we both ignore the rule. I smile sheepishly before pulling my phone out and reading New Message: Dani lighting up the screen. I open it up and read the short text.

'Hey, meet up for coffee after your shift? I'll pay. You can bring Adam if you like.'

   I show the text to the man beside me. He smirks and nods. My two best friends actually do love each other, platonically of course, but are famous for pretending to hate each other. The casual jabs at each other have slowly force in size since they first met, but all three of us know it's all in good fun. To outsiders though, they probably look like they're ready to kill each other. My best friends are weird.

   I quickly shoot back a reply, telling her that yes, Adam and I would love to hang out after work, and what time we're both getting off. Somehow, we both managed to land the closing shift. Again. I don't bother asking where though, cause we always meet at the same small cafe, located roughly in the middle of where all three of us live, that way one of us doesn't have to track farther than the other two. Not even a second later she sends back a thumbs up. I go to put my phone back in my pocket, but stop when it vibrates in the palm of my hand. I open it and read another text from the red head.

'Btw, I invited Isabelle too.'

And there's that very brief moment of butterflies filling my stomach again. I close my eyes and mentally shake them off.

I'm not gay.