It's Complicated

Chapter Nineteen

My mom practically pounces on me the second I get home. "Hey, Honey, I was thinking that we could order in a pizza and eat that while watching a movie?" I take a second to recover before grinning and nodding.

   "That sounds awesome, Mom." She flashes me a grin of her own before telling me to put my stuff away while she phones a local pizza joint for delivery. I chuckle but do as she says, making my way to the kitchen to put my now empty water bottle on the counter beside the sink. I'll deal with it later. Leaving the kitchen, I go to the living room, walking in just as my mom is saying thanks and hanging up.

"It'll be about twenty minutes, so if you wanted to change into something comfier you have time." I take a moment to really look at what my mom is wearing. While she normally wears blue jeans and blouses at home, she is currently sporting a pair of my father's sweatpants and an over sized t-shirt. Probably my Dad's too. I have at admit that, that looks and sounds pretty great right now. "Definitely. I'll be right back."

Turning on my heel, I then go to the stairs, slowly making my way to the top. As my foot ascends the final step, I make my way down toward my room. It's just as I'm passing through my doorway that my phone rings. Digging it out of my pocket, I glance at the screen. Isabelle. For a moment, I think my heart stops before exploding into a rate faster than should probably be possible. I stare at the screen for a moment before pressing the green answer button with shaking fingers. I take a deep, not so calming, breath before raising my phone to my ear and saying, "Hello?"

   "Hey, Abby. I wasn't actually sure that you were going to answer."

I feel a light stab of guilt for giving her the impression that I would do that to her. "Of course I would answer. Why wouldn't I?" I know exactly why, I just want to hear her say it. By the slight, humourless laugh that I hear down the line, she's thinking of the same thing. Something I didn't mention to Adam this morning.

   "You know exactly why, Abby."

There's a pause for a moment as we both think about what happened between us. "Look, Belle, I'm sorry for just bailing last night. It wasn't anything you did, I was just scared." She doesn't reply for a moment, but when she does, I can almost feel the hurt in her voice.

   "Scared of what Abby? Scared of me? I'm sorry if what I did last night made you uncomfortable. It wasn't my intention. Maybe I was just reading the signals all wrong. Maybe there weren't any signals to even begin with. We just started becoming friends and I went and ruined it. I just wanted to call and apologize. And make sure that we're still okay."

I take in a deep breath as I process her words. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. And you weren't reading signals wrong. I'm so confused about who I am and what I want that... I just... I don't know. But you did nothing wrong. I didn't run because I was scared of you, I ran because I'm scared of what you do to me. Of what you make me feel. I didn't know how to deal with that so I took the coward's way out and I ran. I'm so sorry that I did that to you, and you definitely have nothing to apologize for."

Silence fills the line as we both think about what I said. I had definitely not planned on telling her that I liked her back just yet, but there I went. I was so desperate to make sure she was okay that I had 100% lost whatever filter I had.

   "So... you like me too, then?"

Isabelle's voice is hesitant, her words strained by uncertainty. My heart is basically running for the world record as I lick my dry lips and nod. "Yeah, I do." My own voice is small and unsure as it comes out of my mouth and down the phone line with no way to take it back. My words are met with silence for a moment before I hear a soft intake of breath.