A Little More - Camren (College AU)

but i guess i know you now ~ part ii

It was Friday of the fourth week—now only a week remained until the end of September.

Quite honestly, Camila was already exhausted.

It was only the third week of college and, although she was having her fun in a new setting, she was already feeling it—the stressful urgency of every little thing, the homesickness, the irrational, random moments of loneliness, the somewhat exciting (yet also not exciting) inner-pressure to socialize that still lingered from high school. Not to mention, her emotions had been running rampant lately as she had a hopelessness circling around her...thing for Lauren.

It was definitely a crush.

But she still refused to label it as a "crush," because she barely knew anything about Lauren (but that argument could be negated because she kind of did know a lot. She's a professional at stalking Instagram accounts, and Lauren's spam account was full of information that, again, only made her impossibly cuter to Camila.) Regardless, no matter what Camila was trying to tell herself, it was definitely a crush.

In the midst of all the freshman activities (that Dinah would drag her into) and the whole familiarizing phase, she didn't have time for a crush.

Crushes take a lot out of her; always make her feel insecure (even more than she normally is) and demoralized—sad, could be seen as pathetic, but always true and remains an unchanging fact about her. And her crush on Lauren was certainly no exception.

That was exactly the stressor: that despite the fact that she currently didn't have time for a crush, she had a crush.

She hates it, but she loves love so much that—now that she's feeling what it's like to have a crush again—she also couldn't imagine a world without the blissful (almost naive) state of having a crush.

After the little blatant-ass-staring escapade, nothing much had happened with Lauren other than the fact that their eyes meet every time Lauren walks into class, as well as an exchanging of glances from across the lecture hall when class is dismissed every now and then. Thus, the one-sided nature of her "feelings" for Lauren was really starting to get to her.

According to how she compartmentalized everything in her mind, she was simply "still just trying to figure things out."

All she knew for certain was that she was exhausted—somewhat in a good way, somewhat in a bad way.

The way that she would stress over such a minuscule assignment, and then she would randomly start to miss her family, and then she would miss Miami, and then she would become happy at the random fleeting thought of Lauren, and then she would become sad in telling herself that Lauren will never like her back, she probably will never even become friends with Lauren, and then she would self deprecate herself for being upset over such first world problems, and then she would self deprecate herself for self deprecating herself...it was all quite overbearing, to say the least.

Luckily, she had Dinah helping her keep organized and helping her get out. If it weren't for Dinah, she'd be a complete hermit; she'd be forgetting to eat dinner, and she wouldn't be having half as much fun.

That morning, Camila received an email from one of her professors, informing her that class was cancelled. And she could've sworn that she felt tears forming in her eyes, ready to pour as actual waterfalls rushing from a lake of gratefulness.

It was her second class of the day, her English writing class, that had gotten cancelled. Meaning that after Psych 101, she could go to her dorm and relax (probably nap) until lunch.

I love this professor.

Nevertheless, she put actual effort into dressing decent for a certain green eyed girl, still an inkling of desire in her mind for Lauren to miraculously approach her.