down in the dm's • nomin

63.

"are you sure you don't want to come with me?" jaemin asks softly, slinging his back over his shoulder while jeno retrieves the younger's suitcase.

jeno doesn't meet his eyes. "i can't, nana. you know that."

"y-you could," jaemin argues, almost begging. "we could make it work."

"i can't give up on my dreams because we fell in love at the wrong time," jeno states firmly. "let's go, you don't want to miss your flight."

jaemin chokes back the tears that threaten to fall as jeno guides him to the door. they walk slowly, prolonging their unescapable arrival to security. jaemin spends most of his time staring up at the love of his life, who's icy gaze stays on the path in front of him. without even thinking, jaemin slips his hand into the older's, closing the distance between them.

jeno's gaze grows easier and his steps lighten, but both are still unable to speak. fear weighs down on them and it feels like the entire world rests upon their shoulders. everything had been so good, so happy, and soon, it's ending.

jaemin's terrified, frankly. he knows him and jeno can't stay together; after all, jaemin is moving across the world. all he can do is hope that someday they'll find their way back to each other, but he would never tell jeno that. he would never want jeno to hold himself back simply because jaemin is always going to love him.

don't get him wrong, the thought of jeno loving someone else scares him. it really does. but if jeno can be happy once jaemin is gone, then it will be okay.

it has to be.

he lays eyes on the security gate and his breath catches in his throat. tears rush to his eyes and he can't breathe, everything is moving to fast.

"jaemin?" jeno stops when he notices the younger's sharp inhales. "hey, hey, baby what's wrong?"

"i-i... i can't do it," he stutters out. jeno cups his boyfriend's face in his hands.

"angel, you can do this," jeno says comfortingly. "you're gonna go and get your education and finally be able to follow your dreams. this is what you've always wanted."

"b-but i need you," jaemin whimpers, tears spilling down slowly.

jeno looks away for a moment, removing his hands from jaemin's face and intertwining them with the younger's. "i'll be here when you move back, nana," jeno says. "i promise, i'm not going anywhere."

jaemin tucks his face against jeno's chest as quiet sobs wrack his smaller body. jeno holds him close, nestling his face in jaemin's hair and breathing deeply. "don't forget about me, yeah?" jeno requests softly.

jaemin pulls away. "i couldn't if i tried," he smiles halfheartedly.

"you... you should go," jeno says. jaemin can see him closing himself off, putting his walls back up, and it makes the younger want to scream because it feels too real.

he really is letting go of the love of his life.

jaemin nods and turns to enter security, letting go of jeno's warm hand and tucking it in his pocket. he glances back and sees jeno walk the other way, his head down and his hood up. and god, jaemin wants more than anything to run back into his arms and tell him how much he loves him, to kiss him and stay here, home. but his feet keep going, and before he knows it, jeno is out of sight.

and he isn't jaemin's anymore.