SHEER HEART ATTACK ➸ book reviews

oii. i've just seen a face

«story name» i've just seen a face

«author» saintsansa (Kim)

«reviewer» evanshansen (Riley)

«rating»

«grammar»
9/10

very impressed with your grammar! there were very minimal instances of improper punctuation or capitalization, and i don't believe i found any typos which is rare for most fics cause even i can be typo city sometimes!

«character development»
6.5/10

rhiannon is a really cool character but i felt like at times she seemed a little underdeveloped. like i would've liked to see you dive deeper into her emotional unavailability and her flaws. also whenever she opened up about some of the secrets from her past that haunt her, it felt sort of abrupt cause i never got a whole lot of inclination that she was that insecure at times. also would appreciate it if we saw more from characters like genie, ezra, and greta because they seem to be the people closest to her yet they're just there. the same could be said about ben and gwil as well but i also understand that your fic is only eight chapters in so there is room for improvement.

«aesthetics»
10/10

the aesthetic of this story blew me away! definitely was very impressed and i think it was something you completely nailed! nicely done!

«writing style»
8/10

you definitely have good use of adjectives and description! one thing that i always appreciate is when a writer doesn't regurgitate the same five adjectives over and over again. also saw a few instances of sensory imagery which i always appreciate cause the method of 'show don't tell' really does pay off cause there were moments where i could actually feel myself in the scene. however there were moments where some paragraphs did feel a little rushed, but that is my only criticism in terms of writing. just try to take it slow and don't just try to cut straight to the action.

«plot»
7.5/10

i loved the whole cozy vibe of this story! sorta reminds me of a hallmark movie, but not in a cringe way—more like the warm and fuzzy way. it's too early to really make a judgement of where it's going but i do enjoy it so far. although try not to rush straight into the romance or scenes that involve heavy dialogue sometimes. because i feel like there's a whole lot more aspects of this story that you could dive into. a few examples would be, her estranged relationship with her family, her friendships etc. also transitions between scenes were a bit confusing at times. i think with a little extra work it could be something really special!

«overall rating»
8.2/10

«additional comments»
you're doing a fantastic job! this story is starting to get really good and i'm intrigued to see what you do with it! i don't read a lot of joe fics so i was definitely impressed by what i saw! i hope you found my judgements fair cause i didn't want to seem nit picky but i think overall you really are a good writer and i think everyone has took for improvement! ❤️