rebel ➳ clifford au

➳ 04

unedited

[VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE :)]

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04. are you afraid of being alone? cause i am, i'm lost without you.

It's really interesting the way people react to certain things and how every reaction is different depending on the person. But even if you want to react to something a certain way, there will be times where your body and mind will betray you, working by their own commands and leaving you unable to realize what's happening, why or why can't you stop feeling the way you do. Even if we like to believe we have control over everything we do, our feelings will always work their way whether we like it or not.

So after the little 'meet up' that I had with Michael in the middle of the night, I was surprised of how I took it. At that time, I couldn't decipher if it was a good or a bad thing, but when I found myself ignoring call after call, leaving each message without a reply, and faking being sick just so I wouldn't have to see him made me realize it wasn't good. The thing was, I wanted to answer those calls, reply to those messages, and magically get over my "colds", but I just couldn't; I knew it was bad to leave him hanging, he deserved and explanation, but so did I.

And so I felt myself growing anxious within each second as I felt my phone vibrating inside my pocket. I knew it was Ashton, so I tried to ignore it and focus on whatever my teacher was saying, not that I cared too much, but even the last class of the day felt more comfortable than answering, texting, or just seeing Ashton. The simple thought of having to deal with it made me feel sick and uneasy.

Which explains why I literally jumped out of my desk when the bell rang its last daily ring, excusing us out of school and onto our houses; I ran through the mass of students pacing the halls, anxious to get home. The halls were already pretty loud, the four wall building filled by the chatter of adolescence, so when I heard the name Barbara being called, I didn't look around; there were so many Barbara's here, one of the reasons why I decided to give myself the nickname of Rebel. No one but me had that nickname and everyone knew me because of it but no one really called me Rebel when they talked to me directly, so when I heard it fall from someone's lips, I froze. It was Ashton.

I started walking faster and faster, heading for the door in order to get the hell out of school and out of Ashton's sight, but it was no use, since within seconds his tall figure stood up in front of me, blocking my way.

"Barbara," he greeted me, panting; I stayed quiet. "Barbara we need to talk. You can't do this." He begged; I know it was rude to do what I did, but as I said, my emotions and actions sometimes acted by themselves. I folded my arms over my chest and began to walk on the opposite direction of the hall, which made him grow annoyed, I knew by the way he harshly grabbed my arm and started basically dragging me out of the school and into the parking lot.

"Get in the car," he commanded rather rudely, pointing at his truck.

"Ashton, I need to go home." I tried to stay monotone, but the truth was I was scared of Ashton's current state. Whenever he gets this kind of mad he is capable of doing anything.

"Get in the car, Barbara," he repeated himself. I sighed deeply, reluctantly dragging my feet to reach the car and climb up the passenger seat only to have Ashton slam the door closed. What a gentleman, I thought sarcastically. I stayed quiet as I watched Ashton make his way to the driver's seat and close the door shut, leaving us both bottled up inside his truck with nothing else than silence.

"So, how you been lately, huh?" He asked though I could feel he wasn't in the mood to hear about how my week has been so far. "I wouldn't be asking, but I am because I haven't known from you in a fucking week, you know." I stayed silent as I watched Ashton impatiently tapping his foot, bobbing his leg up and down.