Peter Parker/ Tom Holland Imagines/Oneshots

I don't want to go.../ P.P

Please note there are mentions of PTSD, Anxiety, as well as Panic and Anxiety attacks in this story. If you don't feel comfortable reading this imagine, please skip it.

'I-I don't feel so good...'

You turned to see your best friend stumbling, with tears in his eyes.

'Y/N I- I-I don't know what happening I-'

You started to cry, you didn't know what to say. You knew you couldn't stop it, even if you tried. 

'No- not you too...' You sobbed shaking your head.

He fell into your arms and clung to your suit, you held onto him tight. You both cried. You could hear the pain in his voice which made you cry more. 

'I don't want to go Y/N- please I- I- don't want to go', he was becoming weaker with every word, but kept on begging.

'Save me -please- I don't want to go, Y/N'

'It-It'll be okay -it-it's going to be okay...' was all you could manage. But really you didn't know if it was going to be, you just wanted his pain to be over.

As the bottom half of his body continued to disappear he fell to the ground. You held the back of his head gently off the ground, and continued to cry as you stared in his tear-glossed eyes.

'Y/N I'm sorry...'

You shook your head not wanting to believe it, 'Peter no...'

'I'm sorry...' he said as he finally disintegrated. 

You sobbed louder, your heart ached. He was always there for you, he helped you adjust when you became an Avenger. He was your one true friend. 

'PETER!!' You let out a gut wrenching cry, 'NO!!!'

Tony had watched on in disbelief, he walked over to you and embraced you in a tight hug.

'PETER!!! COME BACK!!! PLEASE!!!' 

Tony hugged you tighter.

'I couldn't save him...' you cried into Tony's shoulder, 'H-He begged me to save him... and I couldn't... I-I failed him, a-and n-now he's g-g-' you couldn't bring yourself to finish as you cried harder.

You started to become light-headed from crying so much, and your eyes began to droop. You continued to cry as you became unconscious in Tony's arms...

'Y/N!' A voice echoed, it was Peter.

'PETER!' you started to panic trying to find Peter, but everything was dark. 

'Y/N it's okay.'

'Peter?!! Where are you?!?!'

Your heart began to race, searching for Peter.

But you couldn't see him. Only darkness. 

You began to panic more as the darkness engulfed you whole.

'PETER?!?!' your voice echoed.

-

You woke up in a cold sweat screaming Peter's name.

'Shhh shhh... it's alright' Peter said wrapping his arms around you, careful not to hurt you.

You cried into his chest.

'Shhhhh it was just a just a nightmare...'

'N-No... I-It was real' You looked up at Peter tears streaming down your face, and your voice breaking with every word. 'I-I wanted to get you back Peter... I-I tried so hard, but I couldn't... y-you begged me to save you b-but I failed you... I'm so sor-' you started to cry again

'It's okay... I'm here now. You helped the Avengers get me back. I'm okay'

You continued to quietly sob in Peter's chest, the memories of that day replaying in your mind.

Peter hated to see you like this. 

The war ended 7 months ago, and Peter (as well as half of the universe) returned a month after that. 

But when Peter returned he was told Y/N had severe anxiety and PTSD and, even though he had his own trauma to recover from, he was determined to help her through it. But it wasn't easy.

She wasn't really eating, and had already been hospitalised twice from exhaustion and starvation. 

Some days she couldn't even look at Peter without crying, which broke Peter's heart. Other days it seemed like she was back to normal, then something would set her off and she would have an anxiety attack. 

'Would you like to go for a walk?'

'O-Okay...' Y/N whimpered.

Peter slowly helped Y/N up and they walked around the facility. As they walked outside she smiled. It was so peaceful. 

They sat down on a bench together and starred at the sky. Peter looked at Y/N as the moon lit up her tired face. She rested her head on Peter's shoulder. She felt okay. For the first time in a long time she finally felt okay...

---

Sorry for my inactivity!!

I hope you have been having a great start to the new year and enjoyed this story  and remember requests are open! So feel free to comment some.

I hope you guys are well and if you suffer from any mental illness just remember that you are so strong and to seek help if you need it xxx

**Also please note that I don't suffer from PTSD so if I portrayed anything incorrectly please, please PLEASE correct me. I'd hate for you to feel that I've downgraded it in anyway xx