You Are my Light

🔪 C H A P T E R 1 🔪

Hey, author here! Since I'm just starting out I'm not really confident in this fanfic since I'm kinda going with the flow but maybe later on in the book I'll see what I can do. I know I won't get many views since I'm just starting out, but I'll be hopeful ^^.❤️
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(Yuuri's POV)
Ever since I was a child I awaited my soulmate and loved stories about people finally meeting they're soulmate or "other half " as some have referred to it. The way soulmates work is when you're first born you are already connected with your soulmate. You can feel any emotion or pain they feel but it doesn't escalate until you reach the age of 14. There are different stages you go through to making your connection stronger. Specifically 3 stages. Stage 1 is when you are first born you can feel pain and emotion that your soulmate is experiencing. Stage 2 is at the age of 14 you will experience your soulmate's everyday life in dreams. Stage 3 is when you turn 16 you will be able to talk to your soulmate. At first, it will be hard to hear your soulmates voice but the more you talk the stronger the bond gets. Race and gender don't matter but that doesn't stop people from making fun of others soulmates.

I am currently 15 but it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't wait to hear my soulmates voice! Well I mean I've heard it a couple of times in my dreams but I'll finally be able to ask him questions I've always wanted to ask. But did I deserve his love? I knew that my soulmate was a very happy kid and that he was popular. I wasn't, instead, I'm being bullied by Yuri Plisetsky, the popular kid. I'm not the type of guy that Viktor would be interested in. I know his name because I heard his coach yell his name a couple of times in case you were wondering.

With the times I've dreamt about his life I know that he ice skates, just like me! I know that he is popular in school, silver long hair, it looks SO soft, his eyes are an electric shade of blue. But... I'm not good enough. I'm not interesting. I'm just a fat and ugly depressed piece of shit. Viktor is the opposite. He's so lively, sweet, hot, handsome, energetic little ball of fluff.

I'm not worth it

I'm a horrible human being

Why am I alive?

I should just d-

A scream interrupts my thoughts. "Yuurrrrri!" Phichit yelled. 'Huh, Phichit?' I thought. "I came to get you for practice!" said Phichit enthusiastically, I chuckled. Well, he's his usual energetic self.

"Ok let me get ready real quick" I replied.

"Ok I'll be downstairs," Phichit says.

Trigger Warning ⚠️: Mentions self-harm

As I walk into the bathroom I spot a blade on the bathroom sink. I feel those voices pop into my head again.

Pick it up

You deserve the pain

I pick the blade up and angle it at my wrist. I drag it across my wrist and see it draw blood.

*plop*

I drag it across my wrist again.
And again. "Yuuriiiii what's taking you so long?"

I snap out of it and yell back, "Coming! Give me a sec!" I clean up and wrap my wrists and quickly put on my training outfit.

(Time Skipppp)

As I and Phichit make our way into ice castle we feel the cold air hit our skin as we get to the rink. "Yuuri you promised me that you would show me what you have been practicing in secret today!" Phichit exclaimed happily. His eyes sparkled with delight as he says this. 'Crap I forgot!' I think, 'This is going to be embarrassing!'
To be honest, I've actually been memorizing Viktor's (my soulmate) routine a lot so I
decided that I would skate to one of his programs so I've been practicing.

"Uh, s-sure" I managed to stutter out. I glide onto the ice and get into the starting position.

(Time skip cuz I don't know a damn thing about figure skating)

"That... Was... AMAZING!" Phichit screamed happily. I skated off the ice, grabbed my water bottle and drowned it.

"Thanks, Phichit!" I thanked.

"Isn't that your soulmates, Viktor's, program?" Phichit asks. I nod as I feel my face heat up. "awwwwwwww that's adorable!" Phichit squealed. I hid my face in my hands as I head over to Yuuko because I promised her the same thing but I'm going to show her later in the evening.

"Hey Yuuko, are we still on for tonight?" I ask Yuuko.

"Yeah, of course, I can't wait!" Yuuko exclaimed happily.

I smiled at her and spoke, "Ok see you later!" I say as me and Phichit exit to run back.

(Time skip)

Phichit stayed for a while at my house and went back to his house. So now I'm in my bathroom taking a bath. Viktor has been on my mind since this morning. I wonder, 'Is he going to like me? Or would he think that... I'm a depressing fat piece of shit.

"Yuuri! You've been in the bathroom for quite a while are you okay?" Mom shouts from the other side of the door worriedly.

"Sorry! I dozed off a bit." I reply back so she isn't worried. I get out of the bath and dry myself, wrapping myself in a towel. I exit the bathroom to see my mom anxiously awaiting my arrival out the bathroom.

"Yuuri are you okay?" Mom asks me. 'Why is she asking I'm fine there's nothing wrong with me, why is she worrying so much?' I think.

"I'm Fine," I say emotionless.

"Yuuri are you sure, you don't eat, I don't know how long you've been avoiding food but I know that you LOVED to eat pork cutlet bowls now you even refuse that! Your not fine, why aren't you tal-" "I said I'm Fine Okay?!" my voice booms through the room. My voice cracks a bit as I scream this. I immediately regret my remark when I saw a flash of pain in her eyes. My face fell and I spoke, "I-I m so sorry-"

"I'm going to let you cool off then I'll come to check on you"

Mom left the room leaving me to my negative voices. 'see no one cares, even your family doesn't want to be around a depressing peace of shit' My head told me darkly. "pl-please stop, Plea-please" I begged. As hard as I pleaded they wouldn't budge, they just kept saying, 'Pick up the blade you deserve it you deserve to die but that would be too easy, you deserve to suffer' and ext. I walked into the bathroom and looked under the sink to find the small container. When I found it I did the same as in the morning but a lot more strokes were added and after I was exhausted but before I slept I put an alarm for 10:00 to show Viktor's program to Yuuko.

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A/n: Phew I finished! This took so long since I wanted to make it long but I finished and I feel SO accomplished! Anyways sorry that it's depressing but it will lookup don't worry! See ya in the next chapter of anyone is reading this XD.

Word count: 1235