Crying Love

Chapter One

Ava

It was because I was bored that I found myself wondering the streets in the dead of the night when normal sane people would be tucked up in bed or settling down with a nice cup of hot chocolate.

Bored, dispirited and desperately trying to avoid escaping to that slumberous zone that everyone else is jumping into feet first.

Pulling my coat tighter I huffed out a breath of cold air and watched as the mist disappeared into the darkness.

Sitting down at a bus shelter I dug my hand deeper into my pockets, I'd forgotten my gloves and my fingers were starting to go numb from the cold. Leaning my head back against the shelter I looked up into the inky sky and wondered what my life would have been like if my mum was still here.

What would we be doing right now? Would we be snuggling on the sofa together watching friends re-runs? Or would she be smiling at me with love and adoration in her eyes simply because she's proud of me!!

We could possibly be having a proper girly night in, me painting my mum's nails while she tells me stories about when she met my dad, how they fell in love and had their happily ever after.

Or she could be singing me happy birthday and telling me how much she loves me, while my dad looks on with wonder, devotion and affection at the two women who have gave his life such divine fulfilment.

Would we be happy? Mum, dad and me. I think we would. One big happy family.

I barely felt the solitary tear running down my cheek. All I felt was cold and desolate, the chill from the air swept right through me despite the layers I had on.

I reluctantly got up, sighing I made my way back home. Funny that word home, so many sayings come to mind.

'Home sweet home'

'Home is where the heart is'

'Charity begins at home'

'A house is not a home'

I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture. My house is definitely not a home, more like an empty, soul sucking cave and I'm the tiny insect trying to find its way out.

I saw the glow in the front room window as I approached. Half of me wanted to run in that house and sink into a nice hot bath full of vanilla bath salts. My feet were screaming for me to do just that, I had lost all feeling in my toes about ten minutes ago.

The other half, well she wanted to run as far as she could go, to a new life and she didn't care how she got there.

Silently opening the door I winced as I stepped on the squeaky floor. Standing still for a couple of minutes I listened to see if I had been detected. All was still quiet and my hand hesitated on the lock. As I contemplated what to do a cold shiver snaked its way down my spine. Definitely leave the door unlocked tonight then, if anything happened I needed a quick getaway.

Tiptoeing my way down the hall I watched the shadows from the TV play off of the wall, I could just about make out the furniture behind the glare of the TV.

I stopped when I reached the edge of the wall. It felt like I was standing on the precipice off a cliff - waiting. Do I take that jump into the unknown or do I stay hoping for my knight in shining armour.

See the problem was that once you walked through the downstairs hall everything became open plan. Right in front of me were the stairs and to my left was the front room and dining room, with the kitchen just off the dining room.