Crying Love

Chapter Eight

I know, I know... I took forever to upload this chapter, but it's finally here!!!

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Ava

I sat numbly eating the breakfast that Helen had brought for me.

There were so many questions rolling around in my head, my feelings were all jumbled and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't seem to shake the deep feeling of loss I felt when Ethan let me go.

It was strange, the pull he seemed to have over me.

Since I woke this morning my inner voice hadn't stopped going on and on about Ethan....how beautiful his eyes were, how soft his hair looked and how lucky we were to have such a handsome mate...whatever that meant. I just ignored her, obviously one of us needed to keep our wits about us.

Now was hardly the right time for me to be getting giddy over a boy....no matter how he made me feel.

They knew my parents. They could give me answers I thought had been lost to me.

Growing up my mother had hardly been mentioned. My grandparents were quick to tell me how proud she would have been of me but no-one would actually sit down and talk to me about her.

Every time I asked a question I'd get a vague answer and the subject would be changed.

I remember spending hours searching for photos or diaries that would give me some sort of clue as to who my mother was but it was pointless. It was like she never even existed.

Now though, I had a chance to find out what I had been missing all my life. I could finally see a piece of my life before it all changed.

She was watching me again, Ethan's mum.

She had been fluttering around like a lost butterfly, tidying up the nonexistent mess in Ethan's room, but I didn't mind, it kept me distracted.

Keeping my body facing the desk, I turned my head to look at her.

Her blue eyes were shiny with unshed tears and she was gripping a stuffed teddy so tightly I'm surprised the head hadn't popped off yet.

She gave me a watery smile and took a slight step forward.

"How are you feeling" she asked hesitantly.

I turned so I was facing her properly before I replied. "I'm fine, thanks, breakfast was lovely" I replied politely.

Was I supposed to tell her about the pain that was tearing me apart inside? About the loneliness that has plagued my life for the past year. That I felt sick to the stomach at the monster my dad had turned into....that somehow, my dad's downfall was my fault!

"Would you like anything else" she enquired as she gathered up my dirty plates.

I shook my head ever so slightly as I watched her from the corner of my eye. She was beautiful and moved so gracefully. I found myself wondering again what it would be like to have a mother. To have someone look at me with such love the way Ethan's mum had looked at him.

She patted me on my arm and plucked up the tray, "I won't be long" she replied as she made her way to the door.

"What was she like?" I blurted out before she made it completely out the door. She stopped and turned to face me, her eyebrows slightly raised as her lips formed a tense line across her face.

"My mother...what was she like?" I breathed out timidly.

Clearing her throat I watched as Helen took slow measured steps back into the room. A frown marred her face as she looked off into the distance. Placing the tray back on the desk she gently took my hands, her eyes darting all over my face before her blue ones met my green ones and held them.