The Ballad of the Trombone

The Janitor Segment

But the Daeds were never complete without the Janitors. Ian and Nathan they were, and they indeed did enjoy ducks for their early evening fall autum spring time.

Ian: Man, I really would like some duck for our autum spring time.

Nathan: Man, I really agree with you. Sudoku will aid our soul and shoes. Dr.Sholes

Ian agreed. He really did like to play pingpong.

Nathan licked his earlobes and stuck them into Ian's eye sockets.

Nathan: I can now hear what you are thinking Ian, and it sounds like you would like to play a game of mahjong.

Ian did believe that pingpong did sound like mahjong. It was a common mistake among the Daeds, especially between Bo and Matthew.

Nathan began to setup a chess game while Ian became a frog. It was a good day for soccer.

Ian kicked the soccer ball into the tree. The tree applauded Ian and ate the soccer ball. The tree became a beanstalk.

Nathan: I have finished setting up the chinese checkers game. Would you like to play Ian?

Ian broke his neck to the side. It felt good.

Ian: Yes indeed. A game of cards against humanity will really aid my comfort.

It was during this time that Anastasia and Heleana decided to Pillage Big Village. Did you ever wonder why Anastasia was never convicted of pillaging Big Village, but Heleana was?

Well, Anastasia climbed the beanstalk up to God, and God told her that the only way to redeem herself was to win against Ian and Nathan in Blackjack. It was a good thing that Ian and Nathan had just set up a game of black jack. Salamander.

Anastasia climbed back down the beanstalk and lost both of her hands.

Anastasia: It is ok. I can grow them back after eating mitosis. Yummy

Anastasia, after walking for a year and a half, finally encountered Ian. Ian had just gotten 21 and was trying to keep a straight face. Nathan has his cards added up to 42, but was still hitting himself because he wanted to get 100. Blackjack was not the goal to get 100.

Anastasia: I have come to redeem myself, for Heleana has sinned and I must rid myself of the corruption that she has spread upon me.

Ian and Nathan snapped their necks towards Anastasia, for she was right behind them and they couldnt turn their necks in a 180 angle. Nathan's eyeballs fell out to reveal that he too had secret lettuce stashed away inside his occipital lobe.

Ian: Ah yes. To redeem yourself you shall. But first, catch me a Clawtizer in Pokemon Go for an entrance fee.

Of course, this was a very reasonable offer, for it was impossible to catch a clawitzer. Ian was testing Anastasia, and she knew that he was testing her.

Anastasia: Why hath you test me, kind ser. All i want is christamas for you.

Ian smacked Anastasia on her right clavicle and threw her out of the snowglobe. It was time to do duel.

Nathan: I summon white blue dragon man.

Ian: I summon white magician.

But, Anastasia could not accept the fact that Ian was being racist. She teleported back to the snowglobe with force. It was time to show them her Sharingan. 

But, this event was not meant to happen. Besthesda games could not stand for this. They needed to charge for a DLC expansion before Anastasia showed the player her Sharingan. Bethesda games summoned Lantern.

Lantern: I have arrived with great force. I am now bigger cheez.

Anastasia, Ian, and Nathan all did not know who Lantern was. Only one powerful, amazing, unstoppable woman knew the backstory of Lantern. God summoned Heleana V2.

Heleana V2: It is time to do duel, for I have appeared.

Lantern big cheezed away. The Lantern could not fight Heleana, not to mention Heleana V2.

But, now that Lantern was gone, there was no ability that could counter Ian and Nathan's.

Ian pulled a mop out of his lunula and flashed it at Anastasia. Anastasia froze. It was the Lunula Mop. The weapon of mass destruction.  The weapon that won master chef kids 5 times in a row. The weapon that created the hotel that Gordon Ramsay liked. The weapon that was made out of Gordon Ramsay's pubic hair.

Ian: Behold, the Gordon Mop!

Nathan: But I have something better.

A dark, bright, dim blue red light appeared from the sun moon. A large, small, fat, skinny wand flew walked out of the square circle. This weapon defied all laws and reality cheese. It was skim milk wand, the only weapon that was not cheese in the multiverse.

Nathan and Ian now have summoned the 2 forbidden idols of the southern hemisphere. This angered Spoon.

Spoon: I need to stop all of this madness before my fellow bretheren are eaten by Yogsogoth.

Spoon opened a rift in the void and walked over to Nathan. Spoon ate Nathan. Spoon ate Ian.

Spoon now had the 2 forbidden idols of the souther hemisphere. This enlightened Spoon.

Anastasia and Heleana now realized that they were screwed. Very screwed. But, Spoon did not bring upon demolition or great pizza to all of those arround him. Instead, he teleported away to Atlantis. He liked Atlantis.

Spoons like Atlantis.