The Ballad of the Trombone

Andrew's Nightmare - Based On True Events

Andrew was about to sleep. It was an eventful day. Matthew shared some of his secret lettuce with him at lunch, and for dinner he had cannabis brains.

His spine tingled as he planted his foot onto the bed. He then planted his other foot on the bed. The bedding under his feet broke. There were now two holes in his bed. 

It's ok.

He removed his temporal lobe and placed it next to his detached ulnas. He sat up and went to sleep.

It was a mall. That is the first thing Andrew thought when he entered his dream. The mall was bright, and Andrew had to color his eyes with whiteboard marker to dim his vision. He began to teleport around the mall until he was in the clothes section.

He looked and saw Bo and Heleana.

Andrew took off his pants and Heleana took a picture of his bush. There was a Default Skin dancing inside his bush. Heleana thought this was funny and began to share the picture around on the internet.

Andrew did not see Heleana sharing the image on the internet but she said she was going to share it, so Andrew got scared.

"Please don't share it," he pleaded.

"HEhehehehehehehehehheheehehheheheheheheheheehehehehehhehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehhe," Heleana laughed.

Andrew was now scared as Fuck.

He quickly teleported through the floor into the food court. He opened someone's intestines and grabbed a handful of tooth picks.

He stabbed the toothpicks through his fingers so that if he were to put his whole hand flat onto the table, the toothpicks would impale the table.

Andrew teleported back to Bo and Heleana and put his Toothpick Hand around Heleana's Neck.

"I will close my hand around your neck if you do not delete the picture. And then you will cease BREATH and BIG DIE," Andrew exclaimed, triumphant.

"Gosh, gee, fine. Such a shame. I liked it when you were in the chat," she said.

Heleana deleted the picture and then banned Andrew from the Daed server.

Andrew was sad-- no -- ANGRY. HE WAS PARANOID. 

"NO PLEASE. I HAVE NO FRIENDS! I AM SO LONELY! PLEASE DONT KICK ME!" He screamed.

Andrew woke up in a cold sweat. He felt happier than ever, knowing that Heleana hadn't banned him.

~Fin