The Ballad of the Trombone

Nathantbanaana

Nathan was unhappy about his lettuce. Why? Because father time had taken all of it. And now all of his lettuce is gone. All that is left is the 2 big boy weapons of the souther hemisphere. But of course, that was not enough for Nathan. Every since the spoon came, nothing was the same. It was time to visit his mother.

Nathan stretched over to his mother. She was an ant. Of course she was an ant. Why would she not be? Tripholopod.

Nathan came over to mother ant.

Nathan: Mother, I have come to beeseech you of your knowledge of all things. I must take back the lettuce from father time.

Ant Mother: Of course. But, you need to bestow auppon thee: Banana

Nathan: Banana
Ant Mother: Banana

Nathan understood. His mother wanted strawberry. 

But there was only one being strong enough to posses a dingleberrry. It was: Lantern.

Nathan went over to Lantern in the North Pole. But, Lantern was dead. It seemed that somebody had bigger cheeze than this mans. Nathan needs dingleberry. He needs dingle. Now.

Nathan ran over to South Pole. Why not? 

And there he was. His chiseled, pixelated, Black face. It was him. The one and only. Destroyer of worlds. Destructor of controllers. Constientetor of Eons. Eater of Mozambiques. It was him. It was the man himself. The man that has won more master chef kids than the pubic hair mop. (He won 6). It was Matt Damond. Holder of the Dallace Maveriks and is from Shark Tank. He is also black. Cuz he is from Wii. I think. Stingray.

Matt approached Nathan and screamed silently in pure anguish about how boring it was to fight Shaggy, even at 100% power. Matt was unstoppable, and Nathan knew this. That is why he brought his Furry Drawing Book. No one could confront a Furry Drawing Book and get away with it. 

He drew a nude picture of Shrek getting Sonic pergenanentant.

But, Matt continued to approachment. Matt was secretly a furry.

Nathan: INCONCIEVABLE!

Matt: INDEED! FRIED RICE TIME!

Matt pulled out a bucket of fried rice from his pants, and chucked it at Nathan's earlobe.

Nathan pulled back just in time to take out his Anti Fried Riceinator.

Matt: IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Finally! A worthy oppoepenetnet! OUR FIGHT WILL BE LEGENDARY!

Nathan: No, I am only at 1% of my lettuce power.

Matt: INCONCIEVABLE

Nathan never knew that Matt could say these words. He never knew Matt had such a high vocabulary.

Nathan: INCONCIEVABLE AS WELL

Matt was now AFRAID. What was he to do about the strongest man in the southern hemisphere? Nothing. There was nothing to do. Matt pulled out his dingleberry from his hair follicles. 

Matt: I concede

Nathan: it is too late. I have already charged myself to my fullest potential. 

Matt begins heavy laughter.

Matt: YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP CARD!!!
Nathan: Hahahahah lol use your last trap so that I may win.

Matt: My trap deck contains no useless cards. But it does contain this: EXODIA

Nathan: AAAAAH!! IMPOSSIBLE

Matt: Exodia, Obliterate.

Nathan ate Exodia. it was a perfect balanced breakfast. And with every breakfast, there must be a spoon.

Spoon was summoned from Atlantis

Spoon: AWSKIDLJASWLDJAWSLJDWSDJWSD:LKQWE:DK:QLWD! HOW DARE YOU TAKE ME FROM THIS HOLY LAND

Nathan: Sex me

Spoon: Noe

Matt: Stop

Nathan: Salamander Two

Matt pulled out a egyptian from the ground.

Matt: COME MY SLAVE! KILL THESE TWO DUMB PEOPLE!

The world shook as the egyptian tossed a rock onto Nathan and Spoon. Spoon was crushed and never to be seen again. Instead, he was heard instead.

Nathan was on the ground. He was bleeding slowly and flowerly.

Nathan had to use his last resort.

Nathan began to laugh

Nathan: hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. You summoned the wrong slave Matt

Nathan consumed the slave and mixed with Exodia. He spit it out.

Mega Bradley appeared. His nostrils flared a incodaneesenece flare glare. They were rectangular as my parent's geometry project, but as triangular as my dad's shirt logo. His nostrils smelled like deep deep sauce from Chik Fil A. It was as if his nostrils were from Obama. Wait.... maybe they were.

Obama: GIVE ME MY NOSTRILS BACK

Mega Bradley and Obama tussled and turned. They ate eachother's hair and it tasted good. 

Mega Bradley: Vitamins and minerals very high number. Silica hair and nails get stronger.

Then, it came to a stalemate. Both parties were exhausted. Matt was dead from the tremors in the earlobe lobe lobe.

But Nathan was unscathed. Why? Because he was using this moment to his advantage. Nathan took the excess hair and created the ULTIMATE PUBIC SPLATOON PAINTBRUSH.

This weapon was the strongest weapon in all hemispheres, stratospheres, and spaceipheres. 

Nathan was now the strongest man in the world. With the slap of one hairbrush, he killed Matt, Mega Bradley, and Obama. Nathan just committed mass assissination. He went into Obama's inventory and took out a banana.

He evolved into an ant and crawled over to ant mother.

Nathan: Ant mother, I hav banana.