The Lurking Sin

4. Favor? I guess not.

After a while, I hear the sound of Baa'a legendary whip that's made from horse skin, moving back and forth in the air while landing on what seems to be my mother's body.

Being already used to it. I don't hear her sob. Nothing...

💫💫💫
This chapter is dedicated to my ever beautiful walk buddy Aymerh003  FYI, I don't miss walking with you😒

"You are such an ingrate! I did you a favor. I took you out of that God forsaken place you call your house. I.." Baa was cut short.

"Favor? You call this a favor? My parents were well-to-do, Alhamdulillah (praises be to Allah). No one asked you to take me away from my fairytale. My life before I met you was a million times better than this encased hell hole! I thought my life would be different. Even though most of my relatives weren't happy with their marriages,I still had faith. I lived the most righteous life possible, Ameen. Cause I didn't want karma to catch up with me. Now, you leave me with recounting all the bad things that happen everyday before I go to bed. This is basically the only blissful time I have to myself, yet you've been trying to take it away from me for a very long time." Maa said as she sniffled.

"Apparently, you're insinuating that I'm a devil. A demon right? I even stop you from sleeping." Baa raised his voice.

"Your words don't affect me anymore. Say whatever you want. But keep this in mind, whatever you do will surely reflect on your daughter. You can't punish another man's daughter and expect that all will be well with yours. You always leave me with no choice but to say 'Allah zai saka mun' (Allah will avenge me), always out of annoyance. Which will indirectly or directly affect the wellbeing of my kids. Ameen, have the fear of God in your heart. Quit letting ego and pride get the best of you. The stupid stereotypical behavior that you've been fed with, let it go! This is 2019 for Allah's sake. Only barbarians behave the way you do." Maa said in one breath.

"Wow! My own wife called me a barbarian." Baa said,amused.

"Hmph! Someone's finally coming to. So you do realize I am a wife, your wife! Yet you treat me the way you do? Tomorrow you'll go out to brag and preach to people about how well the affairs of your home are flowing. Little do they know you're just a thorn! A bag full of pain! A cup full of trials Ameen! Please let me be! Leave me alone." Maa said raising her voice.

I've been expecting another tight slap. But I think Maa's words are finally getting to him. My heart always breaks into pieces knowing that Maa has never been happy with Baa. Seeing how nice he is to Mansur and I and even none relatives. Why is there a fire always lit beneath them? It always stirs up steam and leaves the place heated up.

I wonder if she really meant it. Does it mean there was no magical nuptial night? The dream of every new couple.

I can't wait for my time.
I can't believe I just said that.

I wonder what happens though. But I remember when Ya Fadeelah, my cousin, was getting married. A lady came home to do her 'gyaran jiki' (spa). This took over three months. She was asked to not bath with hot water, yet she was always advised to use hot water down there with some gargajiya-typa things (traditional), if you know what I mean. This very big lady would scrub and scrub her body with different natural ingredients like tumeric, camel milk, spirogyra, lime, avocado, raw eggs, cinnamon powder and some other things I can't seem to place my thoughts on. Not to forget, she was always given all kinds of things to eat and drink. She even sits on this stool that had a big hole in the middle where incense is placed. Ya Ilahee, it made her smell really nice.

Some of those processes were really uncalled for, like how she was stopped from jumping around with us and eating cold ice cream. Who eats hot ice cream anyway? Party poopers.

I won't lie though, it made her glow. She always looked extremely beautiful after each process.

Lost in thought, I hear Baa taking thunderous steps to his chamber.

Truth be told, I wake up everyday more excited about marriage. Yet I'm still skeptical about it.

The odds were already against us, even before our conception.
Someone in your family might have tortured someone else's child. Karma doesn't fall on them, it decides to linger in your generation then land on you,probably the great grand child that doesn't even know about the existence of the culprit.

That's what happens. Then we wonder why.

And these men feel they're doing you a favor by marrying you? No way. A lot of women prove to be happier in their parents' house.

You can't imagine the sacrifices our mothers have to go through. Just to make sure all is well with us and our siblings.

Maa always chooses us over herself. She lives in our dreams. She derives pleasure from it. And then she pretends like everything is okay. Not until now, that I've grown up to realize its just 'packaging' and nothing more. She doesn't want any tension stirring up in the family. She doesn't need us to never see eye to eye with our supposed knight in shining armor.

I still can't understand what pleasure these men derive from torturing women.

That's Maa's case. She's been tortured practically all her life.
She knows no pleasure in marriage.

That's why she's never soft. She's built this fence. She never lets anyone see through her.

But she's just a tender soul. I fear that all of the buildup will just break her down someday.
I fear for her heart.
She's my mother... I'm concerned about her well being.

Ch-cherries on the top mehn! Butter scotch jam, put some nuts in 'em cups that's wassup mehn🎶🤗
*because its agwaluma season*😁

Well, thanks for being here🤧
Y'all are making me really emotional with all of the rankings and recognition.

DO YOU THINK MARYAM (Maa) is wrong for indirectly placing a curse on her children?

Please don't be a silent reader, tell me what you think.
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Quick question: what are your thoughts about marriage? How it starts beautifully and turns out to be in the end? Do you think its our fault or the society's? Or do you think we live our marriages just for the camera?

Once again, don't be a silent reader.
Moonface loves you☺️💫