Best For Me | jensoo

Chapter 21

"When's Alex's six-week checkup?" Jisoo asked through a mouth of cereal. It came out more like, "Whohon Alah sich wich chupp?" but Jennie understood it anyway. It spoke a lot for her innate understanding of her friend that she managed to decipher the message, but she did.

"Wednesday," she laughed and handed the brunette a napkin to wipe her chin. Jisoo grinned sheepishly and wiped the trickle of milk off.

"Sweet!" she exclaimed back. "Coming to music class?"

Jennie shook her head ruefully. "Unfortunately, the only appointment I could get was at the same time. Elly will be there."

Jisoo shrugged acceptingly.

Jennie watched her companion carefully. She'd been doing that a lot lately. Things seemed so carefully balanced in her own head right now she wasn't sure what to do.

It felt like, no matter which way she moved, something horrible could happen. She'd managed to get into a space where her children seemed okay, Jisoo seemed okay, Jongin seemed okay and Jennie felt okay. Any false move could unbalance that.

If she pulled away from Jisoo, that could potentially destroy their current relationship. That was something Jennie wasn't prepared to deal with. But if she got closer to Jisoo – and, damn, but she was tempted – well, that opened up a whole can of worms, didn't it. She could still lose the girl. What did Jennie know about dating a girl? What did Jennie know about a lasting relationship with anyone? She was divorcing her husband, after all.

Then there was Elly. Jennie had been taken aback at how jealous Elly had been about Alex's arrival. Five weeks had just about cooled it to an acceptable level. She was more involved and less angry, but still jealous.

What if she was asked to share her mommy even more, only with Jisoo? Would that make life difficult for Elly? Her life was probably complicated enough. And if she and Jisoo did work out, wouldn't that just add fuel to fire? Being deaf was going to be a fair amount to cope with, then if your mother was a lesbian...

And was she? After all, she had loved Jongin. Then there was the matter of Jongin himself and the problems that might lie there. How the hell would he react? He was being practically perfect these days.

Jennie still loved him – not in passionate way, but love nonetheless – and was overjoyed at the fact they were actually friends.

They laughed and got along well. It was great for them and great for the kids. But she wasn't in love with him any more and she knew it. She had no intention of going back there and the one thing that she wasn't questioning at that moment was her decision to end her marriage. She would rather things stayed as they were, though.

Changes with Jisoo probably would mean changes with Jongin. And they would definitely mean changes with Jennie. Could she do that? Was she even gay? What did loving Jisoo mean? Some part of Jennie knew what it meant. And that scared the living hell out of her.

"Jennie?"

The younger woman came to with Jisoo waving a hand in front of her face. "What?" she asked confusedly.

"Uh, space cadet?" Jisoo grinned. "You were so on another planet. Was it the naked planet?"

Jennie whipped her lightly with the end of the dish towel. "Skeevy nutjob," she smirked.

"Skeebvy nutjob?" the brunette mocked back. "I'm sorry, who's the one doing the whipping here?"

Jennie smirked at her again and hung the dish towel on its rack. "Aren't you going to be late?" she pointed out.

"Yup. I'm out of here, that's what I was TRYING to say. While you were off with the fairies."

Jennie grinned. "Have a nice day!"