It had been a long, hard ride from the castle. The group had ridden several leagues and had done so on very little sleep, and as such all members of the party were extremely tired. Additionally not much had been decided upon; aside from who was the best furry killer and who was the most fearsome jew, all they had managed to agree on was that they should split up in order to take out the guardians. As such, they were now separated into three: the first group consisted of Tim, Sean and Fuzz; the second was made up of Mel (and Brian), Maria and Troy, leaving two people: Lem and Ian.
Tim took out the more detailed map he had been given previously, and showed everyone the plan:
"Sean, Fuzz and myself will head straight to the end, here."
He began, signalling to the guardian with it's symbol as a turd.
"Lem, Ian. Your job is to take out this guardian, and retrieve the lock."
Tim pointed to the combination of the male and female sex symbols, and showed where they were at that point. It was the second furthest away and, although they were the quickest of the group, Tim couldn't take any chances with leaving the furthest away to just two people. Normally the last would be the most difficult, and it is because I'm the god damn motherfucking author of this, and I can make people go wherever the fuck I want.
"That leaves the last group to the last guardian. I assume you all know to be extremely careful and suspect everyone, we have no idea what these guardians look like."
"Woteva, fukin peez ov sheet. Il keel dis faggot."
Lem replied, disgusted that Tim would even suggest that he wouldn't charge in recklessly and stab everything. That was Lutonian culture, and something Lem was proud of.
Nodding, Tim set off, signalling for Fuzz and Sean to follow him. Lem and Ian were next to leave, heading off in the opposite direction towards where Tim had shown them.
"Well, it appears that we should head this way."
Troy said, once it was just the three of them remaining. At that, all three groups were now headed towards their destinations, where they would fight the guardians of the modship.
---TIM---
"B-Brandon?"
Tim cried out in disbelief. Before him stood his twice-dead trusty steed, completely alive and well. Brandon let out a whinny as Tim ran towards him, overjoyed that his friend had returned.
"Wait you fucking faggot, you told us to be care-"
It was too late. Tim was already next to Brandon before it happened. He was thrown backwards into the wall of an abandoned building, dust rising as bricks around him shuffled backwards from the collision.
Before them stood a colossal, ten foot... thing. It was kind of like a centaur, but the opposite way around - a completely naked human set of legs, with a horse's torso and head. It was fucking messed up, I'll tell you.
Fuzz was the first to spring into action, rocket jumping up without fear. As he drew his market gardener to hit the horsemanthing, it clobbered him out of the air straight down into the ground. Sean pulled out a football, kicking it towards the beast's sternum, only for it to be returned with twice the force, straight into his face.
"You cannot beat me!"
It boomed.
"You think I liked you, Tim?!"
The beast laughed. It was Brandon.
"I stayed with you this entire time, watching, analysing your every move. I am the guardian of my lock and I will not lose it. I can counter everything you will throw at me! I am the 1337SC4MZ0R!"
Sean peered up at him.
"Fucking clopper faggot..."
He sneered, spitting out some blood. Everyone was down.... everything was lost.
---TROY---
This was certainly the place that Tim had shown them, but it might have been a little difficult to spot who or what the guardian was. They'd come across a barn filled with animals and people... it could be anywhere, it could be anything. It could have even been the barn (Well, no, it couldn't, that would be fucking ridiculous but you get the idea). What had been the symbol for this guardian again? That would have probably been a decent clue as to what or who the guardian was but none of the group could remember....
Just then, Troy heard a crying from one of the corners using his euphoric super-senses. As he approached the source of the noise, it was clear the person crying was a boy, no older than 16, with his head in his hands and knees up to his face. Scars littered his arms.... this was a little suspicious.
"Aw are you okay?"
Mel asked, rushing over. It was too late. The boy looked up and grinned, his face not covered in tears at all. In his hand it was now clear he held a knife and he swung it upwards, towards Mel. What could be done? Were they about to lose another friend so soon?
---LEM---
Lem had been left on his own for a while now. Ian had spotted some really nice tyres a few hundred yards back, and went to go and nick 'em, but he didn't expect him to be taking so long. Suddenly, he heard a curdling scream and, there being no other way of writing this arc, Lem had to go and check it out.
He peered over a pile of rocks. It was close to the source of the sound, which he had been hearing periodically for the last five minutes. The sight before him was truly shocking. Ian was being spanked by a woman and screaming in pleasure. At least.... wait.
"Ian das a man an tingz! Eez abowt 2 bum yooz!"
Ian turned around to see the woman pull out "her" penis and pull down his trousers. He kicked and screamed, trying to activate his mega-jew powers but completely failing.
"Prepare for some... sexual healenn."
The shemale laughed.
