"Nah m9."
Lem grinned as his shank sliced through the soft flesh of Helenn's penis.
"Das mi bitch."
Helenn grabbed it's stump and howled, moaning about where it's disco-stick used to be.
"You removed my happy rod! Time to diiiieeeee!"
It hissed as it charged towards Lem, blood spurting from the orifice in it's groin area. The evil-monster-dickless-thing charged at him, bearing it's claws. Lem could have probably handled himself against it, but as it came within two yards of him it's eyes exploded from it's skull as it's left side collapsed from the impact of the mega-jew.
"You can't kill Lem!"
He yelled as he pummeled it's shitty body into the ground.
"He still owes me money! It is my jewty to get it back!"
By now the beast was long-dead but Ian hadn't noticed. His fury at not getting his five pence back was far too strong.
"Fam, jus leev eet. Wee gotz da lok an tingz."
Lem loosely held the lock in his hand; the phallus shape was pretty disgusting, but it was clear to see the gap for the key was the eye of the beast's raging boner.
"Letz ed 2 da cayv man."
---
The thundering of colossal, padded feet echoed around the barn. The knife which the emo faggot was holding flew into the air, letting out a quiet "plop" as it lodged itself in the side of a chicken. The crying sympathy-seeking douche crashed through the wall, Brian colliding with him in a ball of furry anger.
The poohead squealed as all his organs burst like water balloons as Brian munched his way through them. Letting out a victorious roar he pulled what appeared to be a razor blade out of the guardian's forearm, pushing it over towards Mel with a sort of.... sadness. It was the lock. They headed back to the cave in silence, it seeming almost solemn because of what had just occurred.
---
"You cannot beat me!"
Brandon yelled as he stomped downwards towards Sean. Unable to find the strength to dodge, it appeared all was lost for him... until.......
NEIGH, MOTHERFUCKER!
The colossus yelled as Brandon's face practically imploded as the hammer collided with his face.
EEEEEEEEEGGS!!!!!!
Brandon stepped back from the huge blow, dazed, trying to regain his sense of balance and sight. The new combatant charged, and swiveled around, carried by the momentum of his mighty hammer, and leaped into the air, bringing it down with a crash. Dust flew into the air, filling what may as well have been an arena with a dense cloud. Everything went silent, and then:
HOHEEHO.......
