no rest for the wicked [jason todd]

thirty four

EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP AT THREE IN THE MORNING.

Okay, not everyone, but everyone should have been sleeping at three in the morning. It was Christmas Day, a time to sleep in before emotional exhaustion kicked in around the family and friends you surround yourself with. It was a holiday. You weren't supposed to wake up, sick to your stomach, and sit in the bathroom with your stomach practically twisting itself into a knot every time you took a deep breath.

"Tye?" Jason asked tiredly as he padded into the room, bare feet against the tiled floors. When he noticed her all but curled around the toilet, he gently reached to rub her back, sighing. He felt her forehead for a fever.

He couldn't decide whether it was her body heat or not, but she was a little warm. He retreated into the room, grabbing a hair elastic from her bag. When he got back, he kneeled down next to her, gathering her hair in his hands to tie it up. She was sick a couple more times, and when she finally made eye contact with him, she smiled sadly. "Didn't mean to wake you up," she said oh-so-quietly. The nausea seemed to be settling now, she felt a little bit better.

"It's okay," he told her softly, rubbing a thumb against her cheek. "I'd kiss you, but... It'd be gross."

She flipped the lid down and sat on the toilet, a yawn slipping out of her mouth. "Get me the bag I put my toothbrush and stuff in?" She asked, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. It wasn't the way she'd wanted to wake up either, but she knew if she stayed up a lot longer, she wouldn't be able to go to sleep without tossing and turning for an hour. At the very least, she needed to get the taste out of her mouth.

When her boyfriend returned and slid the bag onto the counter, he passed her a sleepy smile. "I'm gonna get back into bed," he told her, muffling his own yawn with the back of his hand. "Ask if you need anything. I love you."

Tye froze up slightly as he left the room, her eyes wide. They hadn't ever said the L word before, and not that she didn't love him, it was just a lot. He almost seemed to say it out of instinct, as if he wasn't even thinking when he'd told her. It was a plague building in her mind as she finished with the mouthwash and brushing her teeth. She put everything away, trying to convince herself it was all fine, and crawled back into bed next to him. "Jay," she whispered, "did you mean that?"

He opened one eye to look at her in the dark. "What?" He asked back quietly, but when he searched her face, he seemed to know what she meant. "Tye— Of course I did. I have no hesitations telling you that."

"I love you too," She whispered, ducking her chin slightly. She could feel the vibrations of his laughter from the hand she had on his chest and nearly exploded, but she didn't. She couldn't stop the smile that grew on her own face too. He kissed her forehead and loosely wrapped an arm around her, leaning his nose into her hair.

Maybe she needed a little more reassurance than most people.

She was still avoiding her mother avidly, ducking her calls and making excuses when she saw the woman outside. It was hard to imagine that someone who was meant to love her had left her so, so easily. She didn't want Jason to leave too, and he seemed to spend every single day reminding her he wouldn't.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, and it felt like only minutes later that her eyes were opening to the sound of running water. She rolled over, glancing toward the bathroom briefly and then to the empty space next to her. "Good morning," she mumbled to herself, and immediately her eyes went a little wide. Nausea was back, and she was starting to think maybe she was catching a bug. It was probably just that.

She stepped over to the door and opened it, peeking her head out. Then, giving up before she'd even started looking, she phoned Dick. "Open your door," she told him when he answered, "I have zero idea how to find you. There's like twelve rooms in this hall."

"I think there's eight or something," Dick said, but she heard the twist of a knob and he hung up the phone call. "Hey," he said, standing in the doorway of the room next to the one she'd come out of. "Good sleep? Or you know, no sleep?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Tye gave him a death glare, immediately silencing him. "Okay," he continued, "how was the sleep?"

Tye shrugged slightly, turning to stare at a picture frame on the wall. "Woke up nauseous in the middle of the night," she told him, "it hasn't really gone away fully. Still feel a little sick."

"Do you think it could be, uh, I don't know, baby fever?" He offered uncomfortably. Even he seemed to be unbelieving of the idea of it, and after he said it, his eyes immediately moved away. "Or you caught a bug," he suggested after, "that one seems a ton more likely. Flus, sicknesses, you know. Anyway, uh, where's Jason? Disappeared last night or something?"

Tye stretched an arm above her head and yawned slightly. "Showering, I think," she told him, "water's running in the bathroom and he wasn't in bed. Doesn't take a genius to figure out where he is."She paused, scanning his face, and asked quietly, "were you serious? The baby thing, do you think it could be that and not a bug?"

His expression went tense. "No," he admitted, "it's not likely. It's more likely you just caught something, especially with the amount of people we were around last night."

"I don't know if I even want kids," she admitted after a moment, "like, ever. I mean, I had such a messed up childhood, and I'm so scared I'd mess things up and continue the cycle. I can't be responsible for myself already, I mean, Jason has to remind me when I skip meals. It's just so—" She waved her hand, expression shifting to one of overwhelming fear. "I can't—" She said breathlessly.

She seemed to be close to hyperventilating, and immediately, Dick disappeared out of her view. Her hands moved to her head and she leaned against the wall, sinking toward the ground. She was trying to tell herself to stay calm, stay grounded, but it wasn't working. It took a moment for her to recognize the voice saying her name, the hand on her leg, but when she did, her glassy eyes looked up to meet his. He was speaking, and even if she couldn't pay attention to his words, watching his mouth move was still calming her down.

She felt like it'd been ages since her last anxiety attack. She thought she was getting better.

"Tye?" She heard him say now. "Babe, come on, let's just get you into the room, okay? Maybe you just need some alone time."

Grabbing his hand, she pulled herself up to her feet and retreated into the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she glanced up when he followed her in. "Hey," she said, only now noticing that he was half-dressed. A pair of jeans. She'd interrupted him. "I'm sorry, I just — Dick said something and it kinda freaked me out."

"He does that," Jason offered, reaching for his shirt from the bathroom counter to pull it on. "You gonna shower today, princess?"

She paused. "You think it's a bug, right?" she asked. "Dick said... Well, he used the words 'baby fever'."

Her boyfriend paused before he sat down next to her, gently snaking an arm around her shoulders to pull her in close. "Tye," he said to her, "I don't think so, babe. If it really freaks you out, some pharmacies are open on Christmas. I can go out and grab a test, but..." He pushed some hair away from her face. "This is really freaking you out, isn't it?"

She paused, shrugging loosely. "It's not you or the whole kid thing, it's just... I didn't have any parents for a while, Jay. Didn't have anyone good in my life. I don't want to ruin a kid's life with my problems."

"It's okay," Jason reassured her. "It doesn't matter what happens. I love you, and everything's going to work itself out, even if we gotta help to get the ball rolling."