5 SECONDS OF SUMMER•PREFERENCES

she used to be mine; song pref

a.n. so this song has been on repeat for the past few days. I highly recommend giving it a listen. also possible tw; indirect mention of depression, mentions suicide and domestic violence.

ASHTON: "It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used to be
Although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that girl"
I looked at my boyfriend, Ashton with sincerity "I just feel like I've lost myself" I said. "I can't help but feel like the girl that I used to be is gone. I don't know when she left and I don't know what happened to make me lose her but I just don't feel like me anymore." I said, as a few years escaped my eyes. "Baby, you are still the beautiful girl that I fell in love with, sure, maybe you aren't the life of the party and maybe you haven't been happy like you used to be, and maybe the light in your eyes has dimmed-" "Gee, thanks" I interrupted sarcastically. "But, that's okay, we grow and we change. There are ups and downs in this life, we have hills and we have valleys, but I am here for every single one of them. I'm proud of you for telling me how you feel and I'm thankful that you trust me with this part of you. Now that you've told me what's been going on, we can get help if that's what you want." Ashton spoke to me. "I still remember that girl," his voice rang out as he moved himself from my side, kneeling down in front of me. His forefinger found its place under my chin, causing me to shift my gaze to him, "and I know she's still in there somewhere."

CALUM: (His P.O.V.) "She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie"
I stood in the door frame and couldn't help but look at my girlfriend, my incredibly stubborn, imperfect, pain-in-the-ass, independent but amazingly beautiful girlfriend Y/N and smile. "How did I get so lucky?" I whispered to myself. "What's that babe?" She questioned from her spot where she was working on something. "I said, 'how did I get so lucky?'" I repeated making my way over to her. "Why are you lucky?" She asked, completely oblivious to my point of view. I took a seat next to her. "You're not perfect, you're your own worst critic, you're so stubborn that you never ask for help, and you're messy in every sense of the word. You're all of these imperfect things, all mixed into one, but you're mine and I wouldn't trade that for the world."

LUKE: "It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew"
I looked at my boyfriend with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe it. "You hurt me, Luke." I said, just barely above a whisper. We had been fighting for hours, screaming at each other, breaking down into tears, taking breaks allowing silence to fill the room. "I'm sorry." He said from across the room. "I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask for you. I knew better than to fall in love with you, but you made me believe it was all true." Tears began to flow freely down my face as I spoke. Luke stayed silent, letting my words hit like bullets. "And now I've got you. And I don't know what I'd do without you." "Listen, if I could, I would trade everything to go back and change things, to do things differently," he stood to his feet, walking over to me as he spoke, "I would do that all for you, because YOU are my girl, and maybe that would bring back even a little bit of light in your eyes." He finished, now standing in front of me. "Well then, it's a shame that girl isn't yours anymore, Luke." I said bitterly, walking away from him.

MICHAEL: "Who'll be reckless just enough
Who'll get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck and be scared"
"Who's this?" Michael said, holding a picture. I grabbed it from his hands. "Where did you find this?" I asked bluntly. "It fell from a box in your closet when I was looking for something. Are you just not gonna tell me who it is?" He asked again. "It's my ex!" I said, slightly raising my voice. "I've met all of your exes and I've never seen him, Y/N. Why haven't I met him?" His voice had grown louder and the end of his sentence. I didn't even know where to begin to explain this to him. "Goddammit, why won't you tell me?!" He shouted. "Because, it's my ex husband and he's dead!" I replied, not meaning to shout. "What?" His voice was laced with astonishment. "I was young and reckless, and married a guy that I was dating. We weren't married long," I began, finding the courage to tell him, "he was good, at first. Then he changed, everything changed," my gaze had shifted to the floor, "Then one night, he slapped me so hard that there was ringing in my ears for days after. I packed my bags so many times, telling myself that I was gonna leave him, and that I deserved better than him. Finally, one day he left a mark on my eye and I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't love a man who wasn't capable of loving. So I left and that night he killed himself." I finished tell him my story. "W-why didn't you tell me?" He asked calmly, cupping my face in his hands. "I've never told anyone." "Thank you, for trusting me with this." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, wrapping me in his arms.

a.n. please please please send in request! i would love to hear what y'all want to read!