When They See

Chapter 3

Okay okay. First of all, I apologize for not updating in a looong time. Second, I started school a while ago, so I am going to be extra busy. And there will be an author's note at the end. Be sure to read it. 😊😘
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My mom is on the phone while Josh plays in his room upstairs. She's calling all of my relatives and crying more every time. Her mascara running down her flushed cheeks. She's probably just crying over the bills that I'm causing her.

"I know I know." She shakes her head. "John. I know. Will you- will you please stop yelling at me?" She sets the phone down for a little and puts her head in her hands. I can hear him squawking along on the other line. He finally stops and he takes a deep breath.

I can hear the moment he breaks. While sobbing, "Sh- She's really gone?"

"Yes John. She's really gone." Then mom starts crying so I leave them alone.

I know my mom called my two friends. I heard her. I heard it all. So I leave the house for the first time since I did what I did.

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess I wasn't expecting to still feel the little bit of sun and the bitter cold. I start walking to Maggie's house, which is only a few blocks away.

While I walk, I think about that paramedic lady. I bet she took that job so she could save others. Since she couldn't save Danny. I hope she finds somebody that will comfort her when she thinks about Danny.

I walk right up to Maggie's house. I just walked right in since we do- did that all the time. I can hear sniffles coming from her room upstairs. I jog up there and see her staring at the ceiling, listening to her "Sad" playlist. Which consists of a lot of Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift.

She looks up and at me like I'm there, but I know she can't see me. So I keep walking and sit in her rocking chair. It doesn't rock. She still looks at the door. Finally she lies back down. I can hear her whispering so I move closer.

"Dammit Jess. Why? What the hell happened? Did- did I do something? I know others did, and I'll be damned if I don't get their heads."

You know what Mags? Part of it's your fault. But I'm not gonna blame you. No. That'd be too hard on your fragile heart. But one thing you did helped me go over the edge.

"You know, I've been going through our texts. Just to feel like you're still here with me. I've noticed how bitchy I've been to you. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry Jess! Ugh!"

Okay. One of our last texts, the one that really hurt me, went something like this:
Me- Mags. I think I have anxiety. I've been having panic attacks lately, but I don't want to tell my mom.
Maggie- Oh. So should I get the green or blue dress?
Me- umm the blue I guess

You see that? I just went along with it. Because I don't like attention. It took a lot for me to admit that I had anxiety. And she just didn't care. So I thought, "oh. Okay. If one of my best friends doesn't care about me, then why should the rest of the world?"

So I guess she's sorta a big reason why I did it.

It doesn't matter anymore. It's done. I'm not blaming her. Not blaming anyone except myself.

I look back down at her as she screams, "I fucking knew it was my fault!!! I cared Jess!! I cared! And I still care!!! I'm so sorry! I'm- I'm so sorry." She screams one more time and cries into her pillow. I pat her shoulder and she jumps into the air. Her eyes wide and blue.

I step back. Then I run down the stairs and out the door. I run even faster to my other best friend's house. Becca.

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Wooooo-eeeeeee

It's been a while yeah? My apologies. If you are a sophomore in high school, you get it. Hell, if you are in school, you get it.

Life's rough, what can I say?

I'm upset. *boy problems. lol* so I thought I'd write. It's not the best or longest chapter, but at least it's something?

Thoughts?

Aye, I hope you enjoyed! 😌 Have a nice week.

~Emilia Isabella Martinez