while he's in a smoke cloud and
you're trying to hold back the fire in
your throat - barbed wire suffocation
a sunshine blonde state of mind
is the first thing the wax brings you back to
how she smiled and waved and flew over his head
makes you wonder
if there's others that smile with you and fly over
your head
and it's making him go green
when you need a pulse now
and a pillow that rises with the sun and
sinks to the earth keeping you grounded
to get a wink of sleep
makes you wonder
if he needs your embrace too
or if he thinks it's too much
when you wake up to nothing
when you're the one always initiating
and looking at him when he's not looking
makes you wonder
if he even thinks to
look at you when you're not looking anymore
when you don't feel the autumn breeze anymore
makes you wonder
if he's just used to you
and makes you wonder
if he still feels a thing
when you're the one who's digging all the holes,
initiating, starting, overthinking, loving and loving
and giving and giving,
makes you wonder
if he's getting more far away.
