i wish someone would look through my medicine cabinet.
so they could understand the sound
of the pill popping
in the stall next to you
so they could understand the tremors
as i am writing my vitals
so i can feel real
so they could understand
why i walk laps around the grocery store until the aisle is empty
so they could understand
why the doorbell is my worst enemy
so they could understand
why perfection always seems like an empty platter
so they could understand
that conversation is an all or nothing
so they could understand
why my world shakes when i don't know
the what's and when's
so they could understand
why my microscope is cracking
and bending my back to break as i am under
i wish someone would look in my medicine cabinet.
so they could understand
that this sting in my cheeks
bottomless empty pit in my stomach
clenched jaws
shaking and sweating hands
nervous voice
is why.
