Somewhere Between Florida And Heaven

8~ I know you're avoiding me. Do you even know what that does to me?

The bell rang, signalizing that school was over.

I ran as fast as I could to get out of the building and wait at Marco's car. I didn't intend to face Preston again. I wasn't able to concentrate during algebra, having him on my mind the whole time. What was he doing to me? I was filled with anger and rage, like... what the hell?! I don't get it. Why did he kiss me? Why did he still set sparks off in me? He shouldn't even have come here.

I bumped into someone, for a short moment scared it would be Preston. I sighed when it was only Jonathan.

Jonathan?! Fuck.

"Woah, hey." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Uhm, sorry." I apologized for running into him. I wanted to walk around him, when he grabbed my arm.

"Cam. I know you're avoiding me. Do you even know what that does to me?". People were around us, heading outwards into freedom. 

"Jonathan, It- It wasn't even supposed to happen. I was in a bad state. I was vulnerable..."

"And why did I have the feeling that you enjoyed it as much as I did?"

He was right. Hooking up with him was steamy and dangerous, which made it even better. I always thought Emma's big brother was attractive. Would it be bad if it was all worth it?

"Because I did. It was... amazing." I answered.

He got closer, maybe because I sent off the wrong vibe.

"Hey listen. It was fun and... stuff. Still, I think it's better if we just forget about it, okay?"

He took a step back, letting me breathe again. He looked a bit hurt, but covered it up with a fake smile:

"If you say so. Doesn't mean I won't stop getting hard from the thought of you that day." He winked.

I blushed and walked away. I looked behind me and smiled: "Bye, Jonathan." 

~~

Marco was driving us to my house, the radio playing music in the background, the windows rolled down and the warm wind blowing in my face. I felt at peace, swaying my arms in the air to the music, when one of my fave songs came on. I turned the radio louder and mumbled to the lyrics, quiet enough so Marco couldn't hear me. He was smiling and nodding to the beat. When the chorus played, I couldn't hold back anymore and sang on top of my lungs, absorbing every single word of the lyrics, as if I was telling my own story. I had my eyes closed, jumping in my seat, until the song was over.

Marco was peaking over to me, his mouth hung open, as if he just witnessed a miracle. I then noticed how loud I must have been singing, which meant he must have heard me. I didn't really sing in front of people, not even in front of my friends. I must admit, I'm not that bad, but singing was something so intimate, it feels like opening up to someone, showing your vulnerable side, and they could hurt you just by commenting on it negatively. I'm not that sensitive, but singing is something I enjoy on my own.

Now Marco was looking at me so weirdly, I wasn't ready for what he was thinking.

"Why did you never tell me you could sing, Cam?" His eyes were wide, eyebrows raised.

"Because I didn't want you to know?" I countered. He tilted his head to the side and lightly pinched my cheek.

"You're really good. You should to it more often." He turned his face back to the road.

More songs I loved were playing, but I didn't have the courage anymore to open my mouth, so I just looked out of the window. We were driving down the upland where I hurt myself, when I recognized Reed walking his dog the same place he did yesterday. Man, that really just happened yesterday. I was still feeling a bit of pain, but I was doing way better. I'm glad he was there to help me though. I appreciate it.

Marco stopped in front of my house, he was telling me about Destiny, his sister, and how excited she was for me to sleep at their place, when he suddenly stopped talking. He was staring at something behind me in shock.

"Uhm, Camille. I'm not sure how to tell you this.."

I turned around, my eyes still on Marco, when I tore my gaze away from him to see whatever there was for myself.

I was shocked, frightened from what I viewed:

Preston was there, sitting on the porch steps, looking tired, or sad? He then looked upfront, and our eyes met. It felt the same way as it did yesterday, when he appeared out of nowhere at school. He kissed me not long ago, and now, even though I tried so hard not to bump into him at school, he was there, sitting on those steps to my goddamn house, waiting for me. What did he want from me? Why didn't he just wait for me on campus? I was getting mad. I didn't ask for this.

I jumped out of the car, feeling both Marco's and Preston's eyes on me. When I was getting closer to the porch, Preston stood up, as if expecting me to say something, but I didn't. I walked past him and opened up the front door, walking towards the stairs.

"Cam, please. Talk to me," he followed me into the house, his voice right behind me.

I turned around, not ready for what was going to happen. His tallness overtowered mine, forcing me to tilt me head up, but that didn't make me feel any powerless. I had the upper hand, I had control over this situation.

I looked him dead in the eye:

"What do you want me to say?".