Miami to Los Angeles | Grayson Dolan

{36}

(December 15, 7:46 am)

Waking up this morning, knowing what had happened last night, was hard. But I also knew that I wold have to face him at some point or another, I just had to work up the guts to go downstairs.

I knew that the start of this argument was all my fault. We both knew that. However, the way that he handled it and how he spoke to me last night means that I want an apology of out him too.

I just needed the balls to go downstairs.

I stand up and stretch out my back, hearing it crack slightly from being so tense. I put on my dressing that was hanging on the back of my door and turn the handle. I hear loud snores coming from the living room. Just the thought of having to see him made me nervous. 

I took a deep breath in before doing anything else as I headed onto the landing.

As soon as I stood on the first step of the staircase I can hear movement downstairs. I peer around the corner and see Gray sitting up with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He was obviously just as stressed as I was, and probably hungover.

I stand up straight with confidence, knowing that he definitely has a hangover. I didn't bother trying to be quiet. The last step creaked as I walked off of it causing Grayson's head to snap around.

I look into eyes for a split second, seeing nothing but darkness, before walking into the kitchen. They were bloodshot and swollen. He must've been crying.

A wave of guilt rushed over me, but I didn't know why. I understood that the source of the argument was me, but surely if he was upset when he first went out, it wouldn't show. He must've been crying all night. Or at lest until late?

As I enter the kitchen and start boiling the water for my tea I hear the couch squeak. Footsteps become more noticeable until I feel eyes burning into the back of my skull. I don't bother turning around because I was already busy. He coughs a couple of times trying to get my attention, but I wanted him to speak rather than cough.

"So you're just gonna ignore me?" His voice is croaky and deep from having only just woken up. "What's there to ignore? You haven't said anything."

I pour the water into my cup and begin to head back upstairs. He grabs my free arm and turns me around so that I was facing him. Just looking at him like this made my heart sink. He looked so rough and tired. I felt so guilty. This was all my doing.

"Rosie, you can't do this. None of this would have happened if you didn't kiss Noah!" I place my cup down next to me on the counter. I take a deep breath and look him straight in the eyes. I knew he said that out of anger, but he needs to learn to control his temper.

"I don't know how to explain it to you any different Gray, if you don't believe me then that's your problem, not mine."
I speak very calm and try to make sure that I don't lash out on him.

"What do you mean that's my problem? For all I know this could've been going on the entire time you were in London." I can see the hurt in his eyes. But he needed to trust me.

"And next time you go out and come home, drunk and not knowing who you're talking to. Don't bother coming home. You scared me last night Grayson. It didn't even feel like I was talking to you" I feel my heart break slightly. I know that was harsh, but it was all too true.

When my mom used to go out drinking she'd come home an entirely different person too. I didn't want to see that happen to Gray too.

"And as for Noah, well, You just need to trust me" I hang my head, knowing i would be doing the same if I were in his situation. Neither of us say anything.

We stand there for a few moments until he pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry" he whispers, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

I knew he meant it because I could hear in his voice that It was about to break.

I wrap my arms tightly around his torso and cuddle my head into his chest. I still didn't know if he remembered what he said last night, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Rosie," he speaks up finally, with a soft breakable voice. "I know it was a while ago now, but I know what you did when we were on a break..." I pull away and look up to him, my arms still rested around his waist. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't even know we were really on a break.

"I don't know what you mean?" I was genuinely confused

"When I invited your mum and we didn't talk for like two weeks?" Oh. That. I must have blocked it out of my mind. But I was still confused. I try looking him in the eyes hoping he'd get the message that I had no idea what he was on about. But as much as I tried, he avoided eye contact.

I heard him sniffle slightly. I knew that's what he did right before he became flooded with tears. I cupped my hand around his face and made him look me in the eye. Although this time his eyes weren't the deep hazel that everyone knows and loves. They were the same as last night. Black and filled with hurt. Almost soulless

"Grayson?" I questioned him again. His demeanour and actions were beginning to scare me. I was so worried about him. Especially after everything that happened yesterday.

"I didn't want to not be with you" a tear slips from his eye and he begins tripping over his words, like hurdles blocking the way to the end of his sentence. "You'll never be without me?" I questioned him on the basis of how ridiculous he was being.

We'd just bought a house together.

"What if y-you've already found someone b-better" his words were becoming less audible. It was as if he actually believed everything that he was saying. What was in his mind that was telling him this?

"Baby, you're the most amazing, most funny and most talented person I've ever met. I'd be a fool to ever let you go" I start panicking, thinking that he was going to leave me. "I love you"

I've never in my life meant what I said more than in that moment. Not being with him would be like having a part of me ripped right out of my chest.

"But that doesn't change what you did. I thought I could live with it, but now I'm not so sure. Especially not after last night." He steps back shaking his head. His words became clearer and his tone was serious.

"Grayson. I don't know what you mean!" I start getting pissed off, how was I supposed to know what he was on about if he doesn't tell me?

"I know you cheated on me!"

Hey guys! So I know this is a short chapter, but I just wanted to get it out for you! I'm loving writing all of this drama btw!

Anyways keep voting, commenting, reading and following. Every time you do it means everything!

I love you all!