Sensible Ramblings | ✔️

{ t h r e e }

Warning, thought splurge ahead. I crapped this out at three am last night and wasn't originally planning on posting it on here, as it was kind of short. I'll explain myself afterwards. Anyways, read on:

"I perceive the world in two ways. Both are completely opposite and have different implications on how I live my life. On one side, I see the good in people. Helping the elderly, giving to the homeless, peace, wars coming to an end. General happiness around the globe. And on the other side I see how fragile morality is. All it takes is one thing to go wrong for anyone to realise this. Nothing holds us back from doing anything. The law is a simple command written on a paper by a group of whom has no real power other than that which we give it to them. In reality, they're just people, they know no more about what their doing than you and I do. I see how easily manipulated people are and the thin layer of glass between doing what's considered "good" or "evil". This side of me desires not to cause chaos and destroy, but to show that there is nothing, absolutely nothing holding us back. It desires to destroy the concept of "good" entirely because nothing means anything, it's only the value, the power, the strength that we as people give to it. In fact, money is nothing but paper, leaders nothing but people, and everything is worthless. This side of me wants to bring the world to its knees and make it beg for mercy as I squeeze the life out of its fragile, cracking throat. It wants to throw it's bloody body into a shallow grave and leave it to the crows as I move on."

Ahem, so yeah. I wasn't planning on it getting as dark as it did in the end, but what can you do. What I wrote was something that I think about regularly, the whole good versus evil thing, but I never really thought it out or explained it completely. What led me to actually understanding what I was thinking was a video on YouTube called "The Philosophy Of The Joker" I forget which channel it's from but it really clicked with me. I see the world similar to how the joker sees it and am at base a nihilist, however I don't despair in my nihilism, I am more sociopathic.

At a base level I understand things that I have been told are "right" (ex. Holding the door open) and things that are "wrong" (ex. Insulting someone). But at the same time I realise these things are simply social constructs that, in reality, mean nothing. I suppose I don't see a "right" and a "wrong", a "good" and an "evil", the same way others do, simply because of the fact that I don't believe they exist. Interestingly, that's more related to psychopathy, where you see the world from a perspective that's not like other people and don't realise what you're doing is wrong, than sociopathy, understanding what you're doing is wrong and doing it anyways with no regret or remorse. Most likely, I seem to be placed somewhere in the middle, because I don't see or believe in right or wrong, but I do understand that some of my actions may be what others consider wrong.

I feel as if I'm not connected with the people around me, whether it be because I'm above them, or if I'm just fundamentally different from them. It's like a radio in a sense, I feel like everyone is on FM and for some reason, my brain is wired to AM, you understand? Anyways that's enough questioning the fragile fabric that holds together society for now. I'm hungry.