Promise you won't leave...(Nick and Jojo)

Part 22

Jojo pov:
The next morning, I really didn't want to get up and go to school. I don't even know where that came  from but I just had 0 motivation for anything. I started wondering what my uncle was doing right now, where he was. I shook those thoughts out of my head and got ready for school. We brought Aileen to daycare and went to school, actually being a little late. Good for me, everyone else was already in class, so they couldn't get to me. Bad thing is that they made up to that in the next break. I actually wanted to spend it with Nick behind the school, but they were faster. The kicked my stomach and my legs, I ended up collapsing on the boys bathroom. My thighs hurt like hell. Fuck. After that, they didn't get to me again that day, thank god. I was so glad when I reached the schoolgate, where Nick was waiting for me. I felt like I was in a videogame, with zombies or something I had to run and hide from. Nick and I went home and picked Aileen up from the nursery. I spent most of my day lying on the sofa, watching TV, with Nick. At around 10 p.m. we went to bed. But of course, my thoughts struck again. Bathroom. Left wrist. Six cuts. Deep. Cleaning. Bandaging. Back to Nicks room.
I lay down next to him again. He was watching the ceiling. He looked spaced out  I looked at the ceiling too. Then I pointed at it with my right hand. 'There's a stain', I said, pulling Nick back to reality. He smiled. My hand still pointed st the ceiling. Suddenly Nicks smile dropped. His eyes filled up with tears. Before I could even overthink what happened, he took my right arm and sat up on his bed. I was shocked and didn't move. He pulled up my right sleeve, revealing all the scars and psrtly fresh wounds. I had removed the bandage. Tears started flowing down his face, his mouth open. 'Jojo...', he whispered. I tried to pull away my arm and looked away from him. I sat up as well. 'Where else?',he asked whispering angrily. I just looked away from him, as he roughly grabbed my left wrist and pulled up the sleeve. I inhaled sharply due to the pain of the very fresh cuts. He unwrapped the bandage. 'Oh my god', he sighed shocked. 'Jojo, why?', he was straight up crying now. I looked into his eyes and whispered,'I am sorry, I'm so sorry Nick. But there's no other way.'  'Why didn't you talk to me about that. I'm sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry I didn't help you. I am so sorry for everything that happened to you, Jojo. Please, don't do this to yourself.' He let go of my wrists just to pull me into his arms. I started crying too. We lay down, very close to each other. I knew that he wanted to protect me. I could see it, feel it. I lay there, my wrists still exposed. Nick got up, grabbed a fresh bandage and alcohol for the wounds. He cleaned them and bandaged them. He lay down next to me again and stroked over the scars. 'I'm so sorry Jojo. All I want is for you to be happy. Please, talk to me.' I turned around in his arms and buried my face in his chest. 'You know, I just can't handle it. I'm weak, Nick. My mother, my uncle, that...man...school...it's just too much Nick. When I feel pain, I feel like I get what I deserve. I feel so dirt, Nick. Dirty because it's my fault that he raped me. I feel like a dirty slut. Not worth shit.' 'Jojo, it was not your fault. I know that for a fact. I want to kill him. All of the people that have ever hurt you, I want them dead. I want to protect you. I really care about you.' His grip around my back tightened. 'But please...please stop hurting yourself. Every cut you cut into your own skin, you also cut into my heart.' 'I'm sorry, Nick. I don't want to hurt you. Really.' 'I know. I just care about you too much.' After a while I whispered, 'Nick, will you promise me that you won't leave me like everyone else did?' 'Yes, Jojo. I promise.' We fell asleep a little while later, he didn't even think about letting go of me.

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